Tuesday, November 17, 2009

hey i,ll be having a new blog

I would be having an active blog on word press from now-on.


Would appreciate If my readers come to that one...!

Friday, November 13, 2009

I miss the sun we shared.

Warda ikram, Hadia Ameen, Summaiya Ali,
sitting under the sun ,
I am here missing you people and the Sun that we used to share.
Sun is shining the usual way but neither Am I sitting on the grassy patch of our college garden nor I have you people by my side.

I miss the achar paratha that we used to eat,
[believe me it doesn't tastes least bit good when you people are not around]

I miss the bad jokes that I can crack only in Sumi,s presence.
I have never been so interested in talking about bad stuff but she.... argh
Now I am a bad girl ;)
Thanx to you.

I miss all those badminton matches between me and my dear hadi.
And that stupid and [nahoosat bhari] commentary of Warda ikram and Summiya Ali.
we would have used our rackets more on them than the poor shuttle.

I miss those taxi rides when I and Warda used to jump off without paying the fare
and Sumi and Hadi were left to give whole of the rent.

I just cant bring it into imagination that Warda would be attending her classes alone
[ and damn me its more of the fact that I am not there with her and some other people would be, than the feeling that she is attending her classes alone. I am such a jealous and possessive soul.]

Hi, to my coming nieces and nephews
[chchch sumi and hadi (lately married)]

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Iqbal Bano Live - Piya Baj Pyala Piya Jaey Na

Quli qutub shah wrote this kalam back in sixteenth century,
[He was the first Sahib-e-deewan poet of urdu.]

When Ahmad faraz sahab wrote his ghazal which was in qutub,s "zameen" he ended his ghazal with the following shair.

Quli shah qutab ho k ahmad faraz
Piya baj sach he, jiya jaye na

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Gibran out of "sand and foam"

I am forever walking upon these shores,
Betwixt the sand and the foam,
The high tide will erase my foot-prints,
And the wind will blow away the foam.
But the sea and the shore will remain

I am afraid for my seas and shore....!

Sumi,s wedding

Well on the last Monday, it was Sumi,s wedding.
we never took her for that but she was and is a good friend...!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Live and Let others live .....!

My office was closed for three days on the basis of you can well assume what.
And when I was coming here today, I was told by a fellow passenger that my office is situated in a building very likely to be BOMBED away.

I am fed-up of things...,
specially of people who message me and tell me that today this and that place is likely to be blown away and in this much hours...!
[usually containing the name of the place my office is situated in]
Come on...!

I fear half of the Pakistani population is in ISI....!
God help you.

Guys things are already too worse to need your help in further worsening.
Get a life....!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

yamna vs aristotle

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind

So my dear yamna.., what do you think of thisssssssssssss?

money is money, do not to be jealous of others and shut your mouth!

I sit, wonder and cry...!

life draws out all the pieces, and when by chance and fate these pieces of jigsaw join, the picture made is so incomprehensible that one wonders at the turns life took.
The spaces between "all that we were" and "all that we are" are so well filled and everything has such a good excuse to happen that one just cant help but sit bewildered.

Life is a bad thing, it goes round and round and you meet the same people on every corner and yet you know that you have traveled miles and centuries. Days pass and nights pass, and eventually you pass away, but all you remember meeting is blockages, walls, turn-abouts, round-abouts and people shouting that you are nothing and will remain to be nothing.

Yet one crosses all mazes and at-least once in his lifetime finds a destination, and then finds that it was not but a milestone.

Monday, October 26, 2009

My head is a roller coaster....!

My head is a roller coaster and is fed-up of rolling over and over.

I just want to loll it to sleep...!

my neck hurts..., cant carry the weight of this small brain and big head, ANYMORE..!

Green tea makes no improvement...
farewell to my eyes................!

Why migraine has started traveling down the body.. it,s back and limbs now..!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Blog tumhe pata he..!

Abu lahab ki khabr jo ai
to salha saal ka zamana ghubar ban kr bikhar chuka tha.

salha-sal ka zamana
salha-saal ka....!

kbhi prhna Abu-lahab ki shadi..................!
salha-sal ka zamana pal bhar mai to nhi guzara na.......!

My hands and tongue are nasty creatures......!

How many days have passed and nobody returned..
I stand here, waiting...,
nobody gave a call,
I was a crap and was well thrown of,
by my own hand perhaps....!
But should I remorse for the gone?

It hurts when realizations come over....!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Being non-political

Why do I feel that this current chain of bomb blasts and Kerry Luger Bill are somehow connected.......!

just realized.......!

zindagi itni masroof ho gai he k bare dinon se apnon ko yaad krne ki bhi fursat nhi mili.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Too busy...!

looking at this page of my blog....
I feel that either I have become unproductive, or too busy to think and write.

Well, I had wished like hell for such days,
and its not that I regret but for this page of MY BLOG, which is free of any creative spark.

Days are so busy and hectic, and I feel so content and satisfied with myself.
sakoon itna he k mar jane ko ji chahta he
wese, kher esi bhi koi baat nhi, lekin din bhar ka thaka hara insan jab bistar par girta he to esi pursakoon neend ati he k jiski tamanna mene hamesha ki.

tum to jante ho blog k mjhe sochen bistar par girne k baad pareshan krti hain..
aur ajkal neend sochne ki mohlat nhi deti...!

mai khush hun aur khne ko ziada kch hota nhi he.......
lekin dil dukhta he k akhir tum meri zindagi ka aik aham hissa ho,
jin dino tum se door rehti hun, dil ko koi khalish stati he...
kher ajj madawe kliye haziri di....

zehn mai bht se khayaal hen magar itne khaas nhi k qalamband karun...
Take care...........
May I come sooner

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Shiny figures have black spaces.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Brains child brains

I believe my mother took a lot of oily fish when she was pregnant.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

lord of the rings

I ate some biscuits[center filled], and thought of lembas.

effect of recent readings.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I am the vampire lestat..!

I love the violin being played

What a luring piece of music it is,
and Lestat, he is breathtaking

Hey friends, where you people are

I am uzlem-ing you...........!

What does uzlem mean?
You need to ask it personally.

Money, Matters! Congratulations!

Hey, It,s my second day of joining.
Finally, I have got a job and a good one, to be more happy for.

I am assigned the post of a content writer, fine thing..!

I might not be that needy,
But I am GREEDY..!


Monday, October 5, 2009


I am the kissed frog,
pity for the kisser, for I am no prince.

Monday, September 28, 2009

would be leaving

would be having exams in november,
and I am fed up with this stupid ptcl, so will be abandoning it....,

lets see when I come back then....!

ye bhi he, magar .......... kher ;)

Woh manay na manay yeh marzy hai un ki !
Magar un ko Purnam Mana kar tu dekhoo

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Happy Eid

by the by
Happy Eid bloggie,

had no money to buy you some eidi..
but you love me, right?

Strange how life turns out

People are out there but all i have is pictures.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Lord of the rings...

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.

read first of the book series,
planning to finish others soon.
Thanks to Tayyaba.

Mujhse barham aap kia huay/ sari kainaat ho gai.

A big number of people less on the eid wishers list this time...

Magic wand's work....
Man does not remain content on the fair/unfair share of love that he is getting.
He asks for more, Alas ends up gettig none, and loosing even the one that he had.

Poor I, who did,nt understand that, and went asking for it, thinking that it was her right...!

So nobody to compare and discuss my eid preparations with,
[I have made no new dress for Eid this time, and I dont know Why...! ]
no early morning Eid wishes.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Welcome to the world girlie...!

Summaya The Poet has been giving birth to words, phrases, sentences and other stuff.

But Today, She gave birth to a baby girl.

Note:- I am a Khala now :smile .

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

chess, Fati admission,

Learned to play chess yesterday,
Pretty nice game..., :smile
[ I lost all]

Learned the basics only..., but it was fun playing.
Planning to have more of such games with Saba.

Fati went to pindi again.
News is that she got a job, and admission in two medical colleges...,
lets see where she goes.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Jalib made me say so too.

Hum Ahl-e-muhabbat paa lenge, apne hi sahare Manzil ko,
....... Yaaraan e siasat ne har soo, phelaein hen rangeen jaal to kia.

Superstions..! Big Time..!

Chanda tu kundalaio..,
Sooraj na kundla,
Jab raja ran charhe,
Ya meenh barse besh baha ..!

My phupho told me this one, two years back,
When I was watching the chand [ moon]
and she commented , that those who watch moon for a long time, loose their sanity.

On another note,
to add in, Mom has her science based theory,
Ants and those other pretty creatures are acting mad these days,
acting like desperates, taking away everything that they can.
Mom says, they are storing for the Rainy days...!

I dont watch weather channel..!

Monday, August 31, 2009

CUT IT...!

ACTUALLY using internet less,
I am not pretending....,
.....................................SO SHUT UP BLOG....!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

money, money... :grin

Trying to have a part time job...,
having an interview tomorrow.
Wish me luck....!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

hum ese saada dilon ki niazmadi se.....

blog dear,
bnde ka jab ji uth jaye, har uss cheez pe se, jis pe usska Eeeman tha...,

wo kia kre....,

mera dil nhi krta jeene ko,

ye dunya to meri soch se bhi buri he...!

mai kese jeoungi inn sab logon k saath?
mar mar k...?


mjhe pata he I,ll get out of this

but at the moment I am very hurt and very unsure...!


sachai ka parchaar krne wale nawe feesad log awal darje k jhoote aur zaleel hote hen....

baqi das feesad jhoote ban rhe hote hen aur zaleel kiye ja rhay hote hen...!
The day was so bad...
I am on the end of my nerves

one of the worst days ever.............!
dunya pe se aetbaar uth jaye yakdam to bnda jhala hi phirta he....!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Why I am so unfeeling today.....?
ajab safaki he mizaaj mai...

maybe I know the answer

Sunday, August 16, 2009

thanks old buddies...,

At a time when it costs 60 paisas per 30 seconds,
and 2.5rs per hour at nights

here you are, who never calls,
and are indifferent to my life and death...!

It feels nice...!

years have past by
you are out of contact...,
have heard nothing directly from your side,

God knows, you come online at what time.....!

finally, she went off ... but for good I hope...!

hadia got married,
she is happy,
a positive plus to my otherwise low life.....!

and she was looking a princess of dunno what place.......!
she is such a child, such a child.....,
I am an elder sister of many older people.
bachi he meri,
she was acting wild on her rukhsati day,
and was looking so cute...

video is with warda,
dunno when she,ll give it to me.....!

love you hadia........!


I am feeling the unfeeling of people...,

insensitivity has a high population rate...!

money matters....1

I didnt had to go to Afriqa in search of hunger and death.

There is just a road and a high wall between....!

Monday, August 10, 2009

They come quite frequent.., I wonder why?

Such unabashed visitors breaths are,
kept coming when they knew how weary of them I am....!!!

There have been times, when they just peeped in,
and considered stepping in,,,,,,,,
but have never stopped coming altogether....!

I dont know whether to be grateful or not..!

Sunday, August 9, 2009


The realization that sooner or later I would be the loneliest person,
on the planet earth is eating me away .....!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

hadia,s nikah today

well, getting married at an early age, yup she is.....!

Apart from all the pros and all the cons [ usually told] , which keep exchanging their places,
with the variation of the perfect marrying age, and blah blah.....!
[ as per anybody and anybody thinks...! ]

What I thought was that marrying at an early age certainly has a charm,
which I and some of my other friends wont be enjoying, if we ever ever planned to get married....!

For marrying at that point of life would be such an OBVIOUS thing, especially,
with one friend holding her three kids at your one side
and the second holding her four at your other.

nothing unusual..., Dahhhhhhhh....!

[ as per a faavourite drama dialogue says]

hadia was not looking a darling, she was looking more than that
eagerly signing her nikah papers,
laughing like a toad
[ mind my eyes]

and making those faces
eating like a hippo
and looking like a barbie.!

I told you to mind my eyes, they see wierdly
Publish Post
Soon she would be off to her new home
GOD BLESS HER,and may all her wishes be fulfilled...!

clock minds its minutes..!

khandraat aur imarat mai farq mehez waqt ka hota he.......!
har shaks, qoum aur cheez ka aik waqt hota he,
kamyaab aur azeem bas wahi shay hoti he, jo usss waqt ko pehchaan le, aur uska bharpoor istamaal kre....!

resonance frequency pehchaan le jo apni,
kionk agay peeche to sab bekaar he,
waqt srf wahi he..., moqaa srf wahi he.....!

and when you get that special minute, just make sure to fill it with sixty worthy seconds...!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Issb........, I didnt get selected...!

yaar blog, I know that I have that substance in me,
one way or the other I will reach the point I want to reach
ok, I cried alot on this,
coz I know that I wanted it, and I deserved it like hell
but mene kb dua ki thi k God give me this.......!
I always said
"Allah give me what I want and what is better for me."
So maybe I have something better enstored for me

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


People torture, but more do their memories

biggy big......... [mood :- cracked headed]

Big things happen,

.........................But smaller make them do.......!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Age matters...........!

She was the oldest 26 year-old, I heard.....!

Do tell everybody [ she included], that I am the oldest 18 year-old.....!

A test or a trip.......!

well, ISSB, what about it.......!

At first I said .........
such a long story...., and who would write/type/pen/keyboard down all that.......!

but on second thoughts, such a hilarious experience it was..., one has to record it down, for future remembrance.....!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

I grin......

I forgive things, but who said that I forget them

Sunday, July 19, 2009

leaving without a jet plane, on a coaster perhaps.!

blog, ja rhi hun, kal mai...!
Issb par...!

sari bethi hun, abhi packing waghera sab, prha bhi khaaas nhi..!
Aur ghar walon friends se paanch din door,
taqreeban sab ajnabi log...!

I am not a crying baby, but ese hi udaasi he kuch...!

And Now I add to the post... [ its 12 in the afternoon, just one day to go]
udaasi had se sawa he....,
being out of contact with , what I ccall my total world, for five days.....!
I am really not liking the idea
:sadness creeping in.....!

cheese.....! :grin

I feel healthy you knw
a bit pissed off, for some bad comments I got..., but otherwise allright!

yaar blog, you know that I have stopped caring about stupid stuff people have to say
but one does get sensitive,
when he is so told to be a thing, that he has taken so much pains not to be....!

My mom qoutes a shair often

Go zara si baat par barson k yarane gaye
lekin itna to hua, kuch log pehchane gaye

aur iss case mai, lor hi ko nhi ji..! ;grin

I am coming over things early..., Right...,
Good girl aint I ..?

HEY LISTEN BLOG.......! I hate diplomatic games....! [bhrrrrrrrr]

Friday, July 17, 2009

I call out for you................!

Well, I used to have readers,
was not that sooo, blog...?

so where are you ppl,
you used to visit me often,
but nowwwwwwwwwww,
maybe you passby, but never a call..., never a knock, never a tête-à-tête,
never a sentence or two, out of your busy head..!

But you are busy, I see, or maybe you dont care..!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Thankyou my Allah, thakyou my God...!

do thank your God....,
we should thank Him.

kal soch rhi thi k kitna karam he Allah saein ka,
k above all,
agar hum gire bhi to ussne hmare liye sambhalne wale rakh chore.
jald ya badair hamen ese logon ka saath mila, jinhon ne zakhmon par marham rakha aur zehr ka tiryaaq kia.
wrna marna kuch esa mushkil bhi to nhi...!

Paul coelho ki baat bhulaye nhi bhoolti.
I,ll accept the zahir and will let it lead me into a state of either holiness or madness.

mai unn logon k bare mai soch rhi thi,
jo gire honge, thokar kha gaye honge, uthne ki sakkat na hogi,
hath phele honge, aur thamne wala hath na hoga.
tanhai si tanhai hogi.

Hum itne ache haalon mai hen blog k kia kahun....!

Rabba saein tera bhti karam ae...!

Why is it so...?

zameen se aasmaan tak ka safar bht khoobsurat hota he
magar aasman se zameen ka......?

manzar to sab wahi hote hen
order reverse ho jata he srf,
aur ye baat hum insanon k palle nhi parti
zehn catch nhi kr pata ye haqeeqat

upar jate huay bnde ki nazar srf manzil ki taraf hoti he
magar neeche girte waqt sab oar nazar hoti he
sab dikh jata he
jo hota he wo bhi
aur jo nhi hota wo bhi...!

esa kion blog...?


Its such a nice feeling to see people coming on your blog from places
even you dont know name of.
Even though you ppl never comment, [ which I really want to]
but still feedjit is a nice thing, It always tell me whenever you come.

It actually feels nice.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

An addition to my realization box

I learned that
khud ko turram khan samajhne wale, awal darje k gdhe hote hen
and That I am the biggest example
no jokes.....!

blog dear, until, yamna herself, start working for herself,
she is not worth a penny.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

going on,s ................, turn offs

I ve recieved my ISSB call,
am waiting for baba,s call,

now he,ll call and ask me
sifarish karun
and I will say no

[ but no, he wont even ask, he would tell.....]

that , that and that are his contacts and I,ll be surpassing the world using his personal contacts, what rubbish...!

[ still, I am happy, atleast he,s asking... ;grin]

and when I,ll tell him that No, I dont need his assistance
and fortunately, when, I ,ll fail this crap buisnes...,
He,ll be thr, with his lot.... thumbs down-ing.

haaa, nice Imagination..., Right...!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

ummm,.......... she is going

Blog Mayya is going to America tonight

gala pakra gaya he...,
itna asar to hona hi tha

Dua kr,
zarurat he.....!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Wish Me luck

Wish me Luck...!
for I have done nothing, worth the things...!
wish me wish me..!

I am a bad fellow
but do wish me......., for I need it badly..!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Birthday Tale

Clock stikes twelve, and I am eighteen....!

Statistics may always go wrong, because I know myself to be the spinning old lady,
that spindled on the sun.

You never saw me, for I was not even ashes.

I wonder, Why Peter Pan tells me, he envies my youth.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Tales of No world........

There was a princess, she went asleep when got pricked.
And look here am I, I got pricked, and my yearn to wake has just begun.
But then, She was a princess and I am not.
That always mattered.

Then there was another, she looked back, and time freezed her with a witch,s spell.
[ But it was only hypothesizing, reality had been another, Always...!]
When I looked back, I got dumbfounded, kept looking for too long,
but then gulped down the poisoned apple, turned around aud moved forward.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Aaab e gum

khayaal aya, jab cheezen aur log, hum se door ho jate hen, to humen unka aik bhi talkh rawiya yaad nhi ata ,
aur hamen bhi Aaab e gum mai zikr ki gai haweli ki trh
apni apni hawelian kisi mehal se kam nhi dikhteen..!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Paper is patient..! Be please...!

Yeah a long time after,
frankly speaking, I used net daily, [Wont Lie..!]
but could nt make myself write something for you
You understand that I am moody,
so cut the crap, Dont Complain,
I am in no mood, already pissed off..!

mujh se barham aap kyaa hu’e

bht udaas rhi half the day,
exams parson khtm ho chuke hen,
The feeling that I am wasting my time and myself is intense,
exams khtm ho chuke hen, ab mera prhne ko dil he...,
[ while mean while the exams the mind has been creative and everywhere except studies, Damn Me....!]

The positive thing is that I have entry tests still, so the hardwork still matters a hell billion....,
maybe I,ll put myself into something useful...!

I am hating the laziness of days and numbing factors of the heat.!
the nights are also so and so...!
I have finally revived the same feeling of nausea, which makes me feel so unenthusiastic, inactive and dumb..!
Laughing hurts!
my tummy doesnt likes that maybe, so mean she/he is...!

Read Imran Series, even it was not a stimulas..., which I am desperately in need of...!
listening to Nusrat Fateh Ali khan,
feeling is coming...
And I wait.....!

Aaj ko’ii baat ho gayii
vo na aaye raat ho gayii

mujh se barham aap kyaa huay
sari qainaat ho gayii

mar gaye mariiz-e-shaam-e-Gham
dard se nijaat ho gayii

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Yes, I smile,
and people wonder how come I do that.......!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Dancing my soul, on the beats He play

Sometimes you want to do somethings, just for yourself,
I somehow have fallen in love with some of the dance types,

I feel the dancers communicating to God....
I want to learn them,
I want to dance them to myself...
I feel kind of pleasure in that,
like leaving yourself off to the beats, and letting yourself free on their command...
What a superb kind of submission it is.

phr wo yaad ata he
Kanjri bandyaan izzat nai katdi
sanu nach k yaar manawan de

aur phr haqeeqat wo bhi to he k........

H๑۩۞۩๑ UM@N BEINGZ, VEGET@BLEZ, or COMIC DU$T,we all D@NCE to a MY$TERIOU$ TONE, intoned in the DIST@NCE by an INVI$IBLE ๑۩۞۩๑ PL@YER..

Sunday, April 26, 2009

chalo Faiz dil jalaein.....

Wahi chashma baqaaa tha, jise sab saraaab samjhe
wahi khayaal mautbar thay jo khayaal tak na phnche

chalo Faiz dil jalaein, karen phr se arz e janan,
wo sukhn jo lab tak aye, pe sawaal tak na phnche

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I promise....!

Blog Iss waqt kefiat mai daal dia kisi ne.....!
blog abhi kisi ne kaha k mai apne khwabon ka khayaal rakhun...!
Pray, that I,ll be able to keep the promise
and give that person the strength too, k wo bhi apne neelepan ko mahfooz rakh sake...!

Blog, najane kion, I ss lamhe mjhe yaqeen ho chala he k aik waqt hoga, jo hmara hoga,
jab hum wo kar sakenge, jo krne kliye humen peda kiya gaya tha,
jab gend hmare court mai hogi,
jab hmara gametime hoga

Aur mjhe lgta he k har shaks ko,
thori ya bht, jald ya badair,
ye oppurtunity zaroor milti he, jab, uss par uss qadar zimedarian nhi hoteen,
k wo apne khwaab poore kr sake,
wo, wo kr sake jo uska belief he....!
wo leading position mai ho...!

lekin jab tak wo waqt ata he, hum thak chuke hotay hen...!
humare jism mai iss qadar taqat nhi rahi hoti k utna toil kr saken....!

Blog hmari himmat, taqat ko mujtamaaa rakhna,
humen waqt se pehle thaka mat dena..!

Blog mjhe lagta he k hmari sarisht mai jo ratti brabar bhi neki he,
wo hmari maoon ki mehnat ka samar he...!
k unhon ne tab, jab hum peda hone wale thay kasrat se quran shareef prha...,
aur srf ussi ki badolat mjhe lgta he, k kbhi na kbhi mai zindagi mai aik bht achi insaan, aur bht achi musalmaan banungi...!

Blog dua krna mere doston kliye,
mai nhi chahti k wo zindagi se kbhi bhi thaken, aaaj mjhe kisi ne bht rulaya,
bht emotional kr dia he, aur mai uski shukarguzaar hun,
mjhe uss shaks pe bara believe he, aur mai usse thora thora idealize krne lagi hun

Aur ab wo shaks iss baat par itraye mat...!

bas neela rhe, k usse khaas bnaya gaya he...,
aur blog usse keh do k mai koshish karungi k apne khwaaab poore karoon,
k mjh par uss se kam zimedarian hen,

isliye k mai esi position mai hun,
aur isliye bhi k mai ye kar sakti hun....!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A day before yesterday, I wrote an afsana,
aik hi go mai....!

And the good part is, that I think that I can write well....!

Fatima has agreed to write that all neatly for me
[ lazy me, have always been wishing k kaash koi jin mil jata, meri jagah papers likhta wo]

And then maybe I,ll send it for publishing.....!

Monday, April 20, 2009

An often thought

Blessed is the feeling,
when one wants to live no other,s life......!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Herat kada.... Ashfaq Ahmad sahab

Since I had to return these two books, so on emergency and previosly done laziness basis
you are getting something out of ma two very favourite books....!
Back to back, ball to ball, hit after hit :grin

Heratkada, Dramon pe based book he. aur sare hi dramay ese k aik se barh kar aik...!
What is it that is not touched in this book, lovely.......!

Aalia: Ye kesi ajeeb o ghareeb matti he-kahan se aa pari aap k jooton par?
Kaleem: Mai nhi khta tha tjhe----- Wahan Pashmina he, mere bache hen- Meri rooh aur tamanaoun k janasheen ----- Shudam aur Gulla jan---- Pashmina aur mai do nhi hen, Aik hi awaaz ki baazgasht hen- Hum donon ------ Aalia I am sorry.

Bazghala aur bacha zaagh ka bhi kuch hissa hazir he,

Ya Rabul aalameen, Ya Zuljalal, Ae mere Rab, mere Malik
Ye majboor mehez teri azmaishgah mai hazir he aur apne saath apne bete ko isliye laya he k maslak e ibrahimi par amal kare, Mujh praganda o sarguzishta sarisht mai itni Qooat-e-Eeman to nhi k iss zaaghzaade ko mehez teri razaa-o-rughbat kliye peh kar doon- Par Qadir-o-Aadil Aarzoomeri yahi he k tu iss kawe k bache ko, k bht shor machata he, Qurban Ali ki jagah qabool frma le- Baar Ilha iss kawe k bache ko qabool kr-Aur uss bazghale ko chor de , Apne habeeb k sadqe, Uss kaali kamli wale k sadqe- Mujhe sharamsaar na kar------ mujhe sharamsaar na kar-

Aur mera most favourite,
Neeli chirya
Faheem: Jab mai chota tha sameera---- to maine aik dafaa aik chirya pakar li thi. Mjhe uss chirya ka khaaakstari rang itna bura laga k maine ----- maine usse neeli siyahi se rang kr chor dia ---- janti ho phr kia hua?

Sameera: Kia.?

Faheem: Jab wo apni rishtedaar chiryon mai phnchi to thongen maar maar kar sabne usse lahoo luhaan kr dia ---- Yahan srf khaakstari badrang chiryan zinda reh sakti hen---
Mai Neeli chirya hun --- Mai apne anjaam se waqif hun.

I dote on this piece of writing, more than awesome..!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Wuthering heights...

uptil now news are good... :)


Wuthering heights was the first english classic that came into my hands,
I was in o,levels 1,
did nt understand much at that time, and the book failed to takle place in the favourite most,s list.
but since it was maya,s favourite, I gave it another try,
and ahhh, what a master piece it is..!

Sharing something out of it,

"For shame," Heathcliff!" I said " It is for God to punish wicked people; we should learn to forgive."
"No , God wont have the satisfaction that I shall," he returned.

And another

she put up her hand to clasp his neck, and bring her cheek to his as he held her;
while he, in return, covering her with frantic caresses, said wildly -

"You teach me now how cruel you've been - cruel and false. WHY did you despise me? WHY did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight you - they'll damn you. You loved me - then what RIGHT had you to leave me? What right - answer me - for the poor fancy you felt for Linton? Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, YOU, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart - YOU have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine. So much the worse for me that I am strong. Do I want to live? What kind of living will it be when you - oh, God! would YOU like to live with your soul in the grave?"

"Let me alone. Let me alone,'' sobbed Catherine. ''If I've done wrong, I'm dying for it. It is enough! You left me too: but I won't upbraid you! I forgive you. Forgive me!''

''It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted hands,' he answered. 'Kiss me again; and don't let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love MY murderer - but YOURS! How can I?''

Monday, April 6, 2009

pray please, I am kinda tense.........!

Blog aaj low bhi hun aur tense bhi
medical he 8th ko

test clear ho gaya mera

Blog dua krna,
I cant bear more of failures,
they have already taken so much out of me

I am clinging to this one
God, dont deprive me of it...!

listening to
"Mai bhi khareedar hun"
haye, kia shair he
jala hua dil he mera, bhuja hua he
dhuan dhuan ban k rehna meri saza he

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Load shedding..!

blog mjhe yaad he
bht phele,
pichli garmion mai mene tumhe aik long absence k baad kaha tha k,

jab mood hota he, light nhi hoti
aur jab light hoti he mood nhi hota...!

aur ab to aik ghanta light ati he, aik ghanta jati he
aik baar nhi bhoolte baara dfoon mai se k light band na karen........,
bare sarial hen..!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

an epilogue to a dialogue

Reffering to a previous post,
A dialogue

now I think
Ill die on the bed of roses, bleeding.....!

Out of heart....?

aik proverb hota he out of mind out of sight,
mai teen saal tak sochti rahi,
kia insaan out of sight aur out of mind hone k saath saath, out of heart bhi ho jata he.......!

paanch saal beet gaye,
aur jawab hamesha na mai mila,

qudrat ka kaarkhana, ajeeb he, ya zalim....!

Monday, March 23, 2009

tere ushaaq bht khaak basar phirte hen...............

Blog, ajeeb baat he
kbhi kbhi yun mehsoos hota he k jo kbhi mehsoos nhi kia usse bhi mehsoos kia he,

ye daawe kis qadar jhoote hen

jis tan laage so tan jaane, mai kia janoon,
mai kia, aur kia mere khayaal..!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Blog, I can feel..!

I feel,
I feel like a child, who designated on selling eggs, have ended up breaking them,
like a blind who has lost his stick,
like a poor stricken wrench, whose last ten rupe note has lost,
like a poultry holder, whose chickens have diagnosed bird flue,
like a diary, accidentally damped, which is only blots now,
like an imp watching his targets getting pious,
like a cinderalla whose prince is incapable of striking one, after eleven.
I feel like a pinnochio who planting his only possesion with hopes of multiplication, lost even that.

And last but not the least
I feel like a penniless child in ragged clothes,
walking in the streets, lonely in his acquire,
searching behind window panes, columns and bars,
If there is anything HE can buy..!

Friday, March 13, 2009

off for ten days

Blog I,ll be off for ten days or fifteen perhaps,
even if I,ll come, It would be difficult to post..!

Do pray, That I,ll convince maself that working hard is after all a good thing.....!

Dua karo k Allah wo kare jo mere haq mai bhtar bhi ho, aur meri khwahish bhi ho,

I need this prayer badly, I am in need...!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Blog jab takiye par sar rakhti hun, to bht si sochen warid hoti hen, magar unnn mai tumhari qismat ka kuch nhi hota,

aaajkal chup rehne ka ji krta he,
dil krta he tumhe dekhun magar bolun kuch nhi,

Aaaah, aur iss waqt bht dard ho rha he kamar aur hathon mai,
mjhe so jana chahiye....!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Two and a half hour talk... ooops

Blog, itna enjoy kia aaaj,

Today I was in mood,
It was just when I was near sleeping, that the bell rang, [phone bell]
It was Fati, mood turned on, and it went to its peak, as the talk gradually took it,s course,

talked so much and what gibberish.......!
I was so much in mood that I even was nt realizing what I am speaking and about what,

It was so fun
at one point, Fatima said about a drama from the book Heratkada by Ashfaq Ahmad sahab,
that she just has a feeling about this drama as if she knows it somehow,

And I very [ the stress is on very], philosphically replied,
" Fatima ye dramay hen.............!
ya to humne dekhe hen, Ya nhi dekhe,'' :surprised
and it was three minutes later that I realized what stupidity I had uttered.

Damn it, I am gramatically stupid.
Dunno where my mind resides half the time,
Maybe the astral world that I am so much allured by.

Thats just a maybe, You know....!

Near the end of the call, fati said
'kaash hum larke hote, mai bhi tujhe khti k aja meri taraf zara,
I said na yaar, larka bhi hoti tab bhi, busen khtm hen iss time,

khti he,
''Tumne ghurbat se bahir nikal kar nhi sochna na''

hahahaha, waqai that was so stupid, jab hum larke ban hi gaye thay, aur baqi day dreaming bhi kr hi li thi, to aik scooter konsi bari cheez thi.....!

She called, and the call prolonged for about 35-40 mins
and then I did for 40-50 mins
and then she for 40 mins again,

a single call in three turns.....,

Ghurbat k masail....! :grin

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Neeli chirya

Neeli chirya ko bht jald pata chal jata he k wo neeli he,
isliye nhi k wo aina dekhti he
logon ki nazren aur bhoori chiryon ki thongen usse ye waqt se bht pehle bata deti hen.

aur phr log sochte hen k itni kam umar mai itni agahi achi nhi hoti.......!


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

.......... untitled........,

aaaj yasir bhai ne baat ki k
Baat dilli tak jani chahiye,

Baat waqai dilli tak hi jani chahiye....!

I am a wonderful person,
Sometimes I walk faster then a bus and honda civics even,
I am surprised why is it only when the red signal is up....!

phikki pe gai....,

kal raat jab aik baje net use krk gai to upar jak ammi kliye chaye bnai,
chat pe time guzara,
aur chat par apne favourite spot par beth kar A dairy of a young girl prhi..!
bht enjoy kia...!

Many ideas crossed my mind, strange like always..!
would share in onward posts....!

jaaldi sone ka irada tha,
magar do baje se bistar par pare pare, yun k neend ati hi na thi,
bht garmi lag rhi thi,

akhir dil bht tang agaya,
dusre kamre mai chali aai
aur Ali bhai k show se kuch recordings sunneen,
aur kia baat he
'' phikki pe gai chand tarian di loo
tu aj wi na aayo sajnaa,''

Haye, it touched my heart so much,
I heard it for an hour, rewinding and playing again and again....!
aur phr prog mai Ali bhai ka ye khna k,
''kisi mughal shehenshah ki trh, wo dehli jahan aapne hakoomat ki ho ,
wahan apko qaed hokr jana acha nhi lgta...!''

kia Aala baat he...!

and after having all that, I went to sleep and didnt wake up till 2 in the afternoon,
and even that with reluctance...!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

this posts and maybe the ones following it are I dont know a sequence to what,

Blog maybe people think that I have started taking a negative approach towards life or whatever and whatever,
but this is not so
I hate feelings getting accumulated in my throat like an unswallowed bite.

I want to feel them, they cannot be strong enough to melt me away or make me suicide.

Toofan ata he, aakr guzar jata he, kam az kam insaan bacha rehta he, and i love the person in me,
And I dont want its spirit to die, thats why i want to feel. I dont wanna be a dumb and numb, insensitive idiot.
I,ll bear pain but that thing........., No.

I am bad , I am lazy, and I am not proud of it,
and it is not so that I can not be otherwise,
its just that i have not tried in literal sense,
and yeah blog,
I am no different,
i am a stupid, day dreaming, unenthusiastic human being.

But I have a belief in myself,
today, maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after that,
I,ll break this shell, this monotony, this stagnancy,
and would soar high and lead ma way and add something positive.

Things will come, difficulties, hurdles, people, whatever whatever...,
but i would not stop and shine high in the sky, with my head held high that yeah I have proved my worth,
I am worthy enough to be called the crown of creatures,
and this my dear friend, aint a dream,

And I believe in my beliefs.....!

dunno what to call it

I bought ''Deewan e Ghalib'' and ''A diary of a young girl'', today.
Dil ko kuch chen mila,

Qasam se, was feeling so very out of control last two days,
my nerves, they were going absolutely wild and I was acting so terribly bad,
that I just did nt want to tell you,
I was ashamed of my behaviour, my weakness, Myself........!
I hurt people bad...!

But it is a fact and has been a fact that I have been unable to cope with frustration.....!
The feelings, and their intensities get double and negative, both,
and i start acting like abnormals....!

Ohhh how insensitive a thing I become........!
I hate it, and I am sorry.........!

SORRY in capital letters....!

Mom I owe you so much,
I know its hard to raise a child like mine,
mom thanks for bearing all that much,
and being so very patient,
and so very caring and sensitive for treating sensibly the type I am.....!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

CHINA,.......... getting over my nerves.

Blog You know what,
uhhh uhh uhhh,

Well before telling that I have to mention that fati,s father is better now, after a successful minor operation.

But Ah, the plus news,
its making me crazy,

Fati has been nominated from her college for a delegation to china, which is going through student exchange commission,
May she get selected,
but believe me, what crap is it.

She is going to china, and that without me,
like to hell with leochoo, he does nt cares for me, calling her alone, with a bunch of possible idiots, who wont be knowing him even..!

Now just have it na just some days backed we talked so much of china, and dreams coming true but what way.....?

Kia kaali zabanen pai hen, By God...........!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

...........................Back to anone..!

I strove with none, for none was worth my strife;
Nature I loved,and, next to Nature,Art:
I warmed both hands before the fire of light;
It sinks; and I am ready to depart.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Bano appa

aaaj bht gloomy feel kr rhi hun,
bas kbhi koi zara si baat upset kr deti he,

aaj bano appa ko khwab mai dekha tha,
bht yaad a rhi theen,
call ki unhen,

aur ajeb baat ye he k meri baat kra di gai bgher kisi taradud k,
do teen logon se hota hua bil-akhir phone unn tak phnch hi gaya,

bht khushi hui,

baat bht mukhtasir hui,
magar khushi rhi k ho gai,
end pe wo kuch keh rhi theen, but phone band ho gaya.!
aur choonk wo tabiat ki khrabi k baice baat nhi kr sakti theen, isliye dubara mene bhi nhi milaya.!

pata nhi , maine bano appa ko ziada prha nhi he, magar unse bht ziada uns he, ese hi jese kisi ghar k bare se ho....!
uns unk fan se ziada unki zaat se he, hena ajeeb baat..!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Thinking back....,

Sometimes, its just that i think,
that I hold no place in the lives of some people I love so much,

like I am here,
I am living,
I am growing,
I am blossoming,
I am loosing,
I am gaining.

But then there are them who are not at any of it,

They tell me of the going ons in their lives,
but dont miss my presence at them...,

Like I hate it, Memories bite.!
the difference between the past and the present hurts....

Life has certainly changed,
the relationships have weakened,

I wrote some years back, three of them maybe,

khne sunne may aya he,
ghata deta he qadar, ana roz roz ka,
par kia karen jo ho judai lambi itni,
k phr milne ki tammana bhi na rahe...!

Aur ab to haal ye he k,
judai ka ehsaas bhi ehsaas krne par hi hota he...!
It has become a reality, a solid mist, shy of its presence,
but always there when you look for it,

wahi k sahir khte hen,

magar ye ho na saka aur ab ye alam he,
tu nhi, tera gham, teri justujoo bhi nhi...
guzar rhi he kuch iss trh zindagi jese,
isse kisi k sahare ki arzoo bhi nhi,



I got a baby cousin just an hour before....,
yet to be named.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

A Dialogue,

Life can be harsh,
life can be difficult,
it can be ugly even.
But unfair,
no, Its never unfair.
It has its divisions, it has its blessings and its wicked spells.

But you get them all, less or more,
sooner or later,
but All.!

Sometimes you may feel so, LIFE... UNFAIR..two words...!

but believe me, otherwise you are a princess,
but if you feel so, then let yourself
if you are jeolous, then be,
if you feel pity for yourself then do,
if you hate the world, you want to break the window panes,
My dear, you are most welcome....!

But there , my princess,
you are a princess,
for thorns,
they always come with the roses,
whatever way, but roses, my dear, roses anyway..!

And Life too, is a bed of roses,
its just that I dont talk of the thorns, I broke my skin with.....!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Ahhh, my dears...!

mayya ne aik shair likh kr bheja,
well, ussi ki kefiat mai hun...

Maktab e ishq ka dastur nirala dekha
usko chutti na mili jisne sabaq yaad kia

aaj bare mamoo waghera bhi aye thay,
well, mera khayaal he jab insaan expectations rakhna band kar chuka ho,
to narazgi bemaani he...!
bas jo he, jesa he,
he to na, yahi bht he...!

Han, ye albata alag baat he k kbhi kbhi insaan bht sensitive moments guzaar rha hota, aur cheezen jesi chal rhi hoti hen, unhen bardasht krna mushkil ho jata he....
but jab moqaa milay rishton ko aur kamon ko, sudhaar lena chahiye....!

bhabhi aur bache bhi aye,

I love my bhateeja, bhatiji,



blog, ami gir gai theen, kafi choten aein,
hospitals phirna, ghar sametna

Ahhh hectic and tense....!

aaj aik saanp wala aya tha, he gave me a seed kind of thing called 'so-mukhi"
known for its electro-magnetic effects..!
I touched the sannp, took it in hands, well it didnt felt much different, or much dangerous, as to be called precisely.....!

farsi classes are going well,
mayya has left them, but fati joining them in...!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

mayya is making me crazy,

she is irratating me like hell,
........................[Why my friends have to be so, they always insist on doing what I hate.....!]

I am literally thinking of closing you blog,
sheis driving me nutssssssssssssss..!


uhhh aaaj gai bhi, but classes nhi hueen aaj start,
mayya aur fatima donon hi nhi aeeen..!
Fati k abu ki tabiat theek nhi, dua krna blog..!

kher, kafi der waheen library mai bethi rhi, phr sadar ghoomne nikal gai,
wahan se register aur pakstudies kliye aik book li,
phr aik flower wale se kuch phool liye,
lena gul-e-nargis chah rhi thi,
ghar phnchi to ami ne kha,
''ye to tuberoses hen''

Mai bhi soch rhi thi, iski khushboo utni tez kion nhi.... :wonder :p

Monday, February 16, 2009

all about the long awaited sunday, HADI,s engagemen.....!

well, I didnt tell you about the last sunday, the awaited one...!

warda ko beizat kr kr k jaldi bulwaya, aur jab wo phnchi to mai madaam abhi srf naha rhi thi.....!

Had a fight over that, and then we packed the gift and left....!

Whooa, this eye-brows plucking buisness hurts,
Literally, I shouted and shrieked so much,
I was literally pleading,

''bas na ho gaya na'', ''ye issi trh acha lag rha he''
''bas aur nahi patla kren eye-brows ko.....! mai bas yunhi theek hun''


hair cutting bhi karai,
baal bht chote kr diye unn ne...,

[and I was just repeating an incident in my mind, a comment that i got from a young girl several years back, when i myself was about some twelve years old...!

''Inni waddi larki te baal inne nikke nikke''

well I still laugh at the wonder expressed.......!
haye mere mulk k pyare aur masoom log...! ]

Hadia itni pyari lag rhi thi,
she was looking phenominal, she amazed me, like hadia ye tu to pyari lag rhi he,
And I liked his fiancee,
and the best thing abt him is that, he reads Imran series...!
hahaha, [ jhalepan ka koi mol nhi ],

and when I came back home, I was continously saying that,
''mama mera daddooo to pyara lag rha tha...!''

wese wo pyari he bhi, ye alag baat he k mai na manun....! [:p]

I still could nt believe Hadi ki mangni ho rahi he, wese tension kuch kam hui, mjhe achay lag wo log....!

haye ghalib,

jaata hooN daagh-e-hasarat-e-hastee liye hue
hun shamma'-e-kushta, darkhur-e-mehfil nahin rha

aur kia khoob kaha he k,

bedaad-e-ishq se naheeN Darta magar 'Asad'
jis dil pe naaz tha mujhe wo dil naheeN raha

Aha, jis dil pe naaz tha mjhe wo dil nhi raha...!
kia baaat he....!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

ahhh dunno, abhi so kr uthi hun, and am in no mood of writing,

Maybe later, coz there z so much to tell you

Friday, February 13, 2009

Faiz,s 98th birthday.....!

Listen Blog,
today is Faiz sahab,s 98th birthday,
dont forget to watch, PTV at
11 pm....!

Faiz sahab ki videos bhi shamil he iss khiraaj e tehseen pesh krne kliye kiye gaye program mai,
bano apa bhi bethi hui hen........!

so I am very happy and looking forward to watch it.....!

Khwab jo k khwab hen...!

just now talked to Fati.........!

I am in high spirits...!

Mai farsi classes join kar rahi hun, Fatima joining them too...!
wow, kitna maza ayega, hum roz milenge, kitna enjoy karenge.....!
I am soooooooooo happy.....!

hum roz mila karenge kai maheene tak....!
wow! wow! wow.....!

aaaj humne itni achi achi baten ki,
as if dunya mai kuch bhi bura nhi he, aur dunya hmare gird ghoomti he,
aur koi cheez nhi he, jo hmare khwabon mai rukawat bane...!

we share our dreams,
and today we talked of fulfilling them,
planning our futures, Ahhh, wish they come true...!

we talked of going to china after finishing our exams...., and getting admissions to some gud university..!
ahhhh, china,
china... and its remoteness!

[I repeated the word ''china'' twice, and asked her,
''HUM kis k des jaeinge.....?

and she stopped for a minute and said.....
'' Leochooo...!''

and then said
'' jub tumne itni apnaiyat se kis k kaha na, to my heart throbbed with excitement, Leochoo''

and then we shouted the name with All the love we could endure


we talked of becoming independant, and then hiring a flat together,
and working on contracts,
and taking breaks every six seven months,
and going to remote places,
and of buying a camera of 6000 snaps capacity,
and of stopping by every river, every bridge, every thele wala, every mochi, every khakroob.!
and of having coffees in the terrace,
and of driving speed,
and of exploring places in the countries new,
and making our library of 4000 buks one day, and on and on, increasing in number,
and letting our dreams lead our way,
and never stopping,
and flowing and flowing....,

As if the world was not what it is....!

But I wrote a poem some timees back,
and there were these three lines that I wrote,

[aur ye teen lines mjhse duhri wabastagi rakhti hen,
aik ye k ye mere qalam se mosoom hen
duja ye k ye, Mjhe pasand bhi hen,
and that they are two things that combine rarely]

Khwab jo k khwab hen,
khwab hen deewanon k,
aur kab deewanon k khwab poore hote hen,

...........................To bas yahi kul baat he.
but wishes are wishes,
what if not grantable,
there is no stopping from wishing,
I Believe..!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

For hadia.....!

I am happy for hadia, I am very much.........!

Allah kare wo hamesha khush rahe, hamesha , hamesha.....!

aur Allah Taala usay wo den, jo uski bhi chahat ho aur Allah ji ki bhi.....!

jahan mai itni khush hun wahan thora sa dar bhi rahi hun dil mai,
wese to Allah ka lakh lakh shukar he, sab ache ki report he,
but satta khelne se phele dar lagna aik fitri baat he........!
and marrying is nothing different..!

wo aik bndi khti hoti thi,
shadi aik satte k taur he,
lag gaya to lag gaya, warna sari umar ka rona he..!

to kher,
bas hopes high...........!

to ji,
abhi engagement to ho le.....!
hum prhe likhon ki ye bari musebat he, sochte bht hen..........!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


It,s late and I SHOULD BE GOING TO SLEEP........!

new things..!

I have slept so much, I feel tired of it,
since 4:30 till 1 am, about nine long hours,

I sleep and I wake, and then I sleep again...!

Woke up listened to some radio, watched a tv serial, and then back on blogging....!

Well bht enjoy kia aaj....!

Hadia is getting engaged on fifteen of Feb, and for the first time, I am anxious, and am acting like a girl...!
the last thing I remeber before going to sleep, were flashes and slideshows running under my vision express,
and what slideshows,

clothes, make-up, hair cuts, this, that........... I dont know the names even....! :grin

well, it is a change, a huge one......!

and not to mention, that it was just yesterday, that I was saying,

k kuch log beniaz hote hen, aur kuch log beniaz dikhte hen,
aur zaroori nhi k jo beniaz dikhte hon, WO BENIAZ HON BHI....! ;grin

And a connected string of thought led me to think k mai fashion k baare mai jo patter patter lagi rehti hun, to mjhe bhi admit kr lena chahiye that I too have started taking some interest in that regard.....!
Ab masla tha ye k mai to hoti thi adha tomboy, fashion aur girlish harkaton se hoti thi chir,
[ jo k abhi bhi bare pemaane par qaim he]

amman ne utha k daal dia girls school mai, aur phr girls college mai....!
ab friends meri karti hen fashion, aur mai bethi shakle dekhti hun k ye ho kia raha he... :wonder

and then warda,s continuous taana- maro- fying that I dont know this and I dont know that...!
It,s hell....! believe me.....! :sorrow

to chaar nachaar mjhe bhi krna par rha he
[ kionk mera khayaal he k mjhe bhi thora sa insaan ka bacha lagna chahiye........]

lekin uss adat ka kia jo fashion related cheezen dekh kar mere mun se tareefen nikalti hen unn cheezon ki baabat....!
Maaar khaoungi kisi din wardi se........!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

I believe in Fairies...! I Do...! I Do...!

Ahhh, watched Peter Pan today,

nice graphics,
And after All what are the fairy tales,
a Fantasized form of our usual world.......!

We shant loose the wonder of them.......!

live in realities, dream of fantasies...!

I believe in that,

You should care of trying that too...! :grin

The Greater Sea.......! KHALIL GIBRAN....

Another chapter from The Madman,

My soul and I went down to the great sea to bathe. And when we reached the shore, we went about looking for a hidden and lonely place.

But as we walked, we saw a man sitting on a grey rock taking pinches of salt from a bag and throwing them into the sea.

"This is the pessimist," said my soul, "Let us leave this place. We cannot bathe here."

We walked on until we reached an inlet. There we saw, standing on a white rock, a man holding a bejewelled box, from which he took sugar and threw it into the sea.
"And this is the optimist," said my soul, "And he too must not see our naked bodies."

Further on we walked. And on a beach we saw a man picking up dead fish and tenderly putting them back into the water.
"And we cannot bathe before him," said my soul. "He is the humane philanthropist."
And we passed on.

Then we came where we saw a man tracing his shadow on the sand. Great waves came and erased it. But he went on tracing it again and again.
"He is the mystic," said my soul, "Let us leave him."

And we walked on, till in a quiet cove we saw a man scooping up the foam and putting it into an alabaster bowl.
"He is the idealist," said my soul, "Surely he must not see our nudity."

And on we walked. Suddenly we heard a voice crying, "This is the sea. This is the deep sea. This is the vast and mighty sea." And when we reached the voice it was a man whose back was turned to the sea, and at his ear he held a shell, listening to its murmur.
And my soul said, "Let us pass on. He is the realist, who turns his back on the whole he cannot grasp, and busies himself with a fragment."

So we passed on. And in a weedy place among the rocks was a man with his head buried in the sand. And I said to my soul, "We can bathe here, for he cannot see us."
"Nay," said my soul, "For he is the most deadly of them all. He is the puritan."

Then a great sadness came over the face of my soul, and into her voice.

"Let us go hence," she said, "For there is no lonely, hidden place where we can bathe. I would not have this wind lift my golden hair, or bare my white bosom in this air, or let the light disclose my scared nakedness."

Then we left that sea to seek the Greater Sea.

haye, yaar, Khalil Gibran kitna kuch keh gaye hen, inn chand satron mai.......!

Friday, February 6, 2009


yaaar blog
bari khush hun,
kal sahir ludhianvi ki kulyaat lai,
bari sasti mil gai kitaab.....!

aur kuch khaas he nahi khne ko,
soch rahi hun, Gibran ko hi share kr lun,
magar phla qarz sahir ji ka bnta he,

wese amreeta preetam sahiba ka likha deebacha bara pasand aya share karungi kbhi.......!

aik shair jo mudat se dil ki rajdhani pe raj kr rha he
aur kitab k pehle safhe par ibarat k taur darj he

''dunya ne tajarbaat o hawadis ki shakal mai
jo kuch mjhe dia he, wo lota rha hun mai''

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Dil e wehshi tere jeene ki ye ada hogi.....


aik khayaal ata he,

phr sochti hun, btaoungi to hansoge,

kher farq kia prta he,

hanste ho to hanste phiro...!

Aksar log apni khifat mitane ko hanste hi to hen....!

to bta mai ye rahi thi k mera dil karta he k kuch arse pagalkhane mai sakoonat ikhtiaar ki jaye....!

baat kuch yun he, k hen to hum dewaane,ya keh lo k adhe pagal,

aur jo adha pagal hua to matlb ye k adha sahi he, aur adha pagal bhi he..!

to jab hum na iss qabeele k aur na uss qabeele k,

to phr idhar rahen ya udhar,

farq kia parta he.....!

kam az kam wahan koi pathar to nhi marta na ji,

aur maare bhi, to dil ko tassali to hogi k ye pagalon ki harkat he,

so-called normalon ki nhi....!


Saturday, January 31, 2009


When my sorrow was born I nursed it with care,
and watched over it with loving tenderness.

And my Sorrow grew like all living things, strong and beautiful and full of wondrous delights.

And we loved one another, my Sorrow and I, and we loved the world about us; for Sorrow had a kindly heart and mine was kindly with Sorrow.

Amd when we conversed, my Sorrow and I, our days were winged and our nights were girdled with dreams; for Sorrow had an eloquent tongue, and mine was eloquent with Sorrow.

And when we sang together, my Sorrow and I, our neighbors sat at their windows and listened; for our songs were deep as the sea and our melodies were full of strange memories.

And when we walked together, my Sorrow and I, people gazed at us with gentle eyes and whispered in words of exceeding sweetness. And there were those who looked with envy upon us, for Sorrow was a noble thing and I was proud with Sorrow.

But my Sorrow died, like all living things, and alone I am left to muse and ponder.

And now when I speak my words fall heavily upon my ears. And when I sing my songs my neighbours come not to listen.

And when I walk the streets no one looks at me.

Only in my sleep I hear voices saying in pity, "See, there lies the man whose Sorrow is dead."


[Mayya, I remember how much we loved and fought reading these extracts,
specially these two,
''when my sorrow was born'' , and
''when my joy was born'' ,

And that one "Crucified"
Your favourites,
I am loving reading them again....! ]

some extracts from ''SAND and FOAM'' by ''Khalil Gibran''

''They say the nightangale pierces his bosom with a thorn,

when he sings his lovesong.

So do we all. How else could we sing?''

And again

''A madman is not less a musician than you or myself ; only the instrument
on which he plays is a little out of tune."

''In the autumn I gathered all my sorrows and buried them in my garden.
And when April returned and spring came to wed the earth,
there grew in my grden beautiful flowers unlike all other flowers.
And my neighbours came to behold them,
and they all said to me,
'' When autumn comes again, at seeding time, will you
not give us of the seeds of these flowers that we may have them in our gardens?''

Friday, January 30, 2009

....... ....... ......

kuch dinon phle tak mai ye khti thi, k
''yaar kbhi mere kisi apne ko kuch hogaya to mai to mar jaungi...!
log kese bardasht kr lete he...!''

aur aaj mai zinda hun, kha rhi hun, pi rahi hun , bht normal hun,
iss qadar iztarab bhi nhi he k marne ko ji chahe,

aur ye sab isiliye nhi, k mera manna ye he,
k marne walon k saath mara nhi jata
blk srf isliye,
k mjhe andaza hi nhi ho pa rha k kia ho chuka he...!

I am unable to understand things,
My feelings have gone numb, totally numb, my heart is unfeeling.!
And I am hating it.....

ya khof se dar guzren, ya jaan se guzar jaein
marna he k jeena he, ik baat theher jaye....!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

blog, dost itni bari rehmat hote hen,
thakan aur asaab k tnao k baice jism toot raha tha,
fatima se baat hui to yun laga jese meri ragon ko jo kisi guche ki manind ulajh gai theen,
koi ahista ahista suljha raha ho,
wo tanao jo meri kamar se brhta brhta kandhon aur phr gardan ki taraf travel kar raha tha,[ aur yun lagta tha k jese meri aik aik rag ko koi churion se kaat rha ho, ]
jese fatima se baat krne k doran ahista ahista dissolve ho gaya.....!

kal ka din bht ajeeb tha, sari hisyaat goya so gai theen, sochne samajhne aur mehsoos krne ki salahiat khtm ho gai thi, [ abhi bhi mai kuch bhi mehsoos nhi kr pa rhi, kam az kam wo nhi jise mehsoos krna bnta he]
mai itni normal bethi hun blog, k mai bata nhi sakti,

fatima khti he k
jab sahaba ikram ko jalti ret par lite dete thay kufaar, to wo mar kion nhi jae thay........?
isliye k Allah bara rehman he, aur wo kisi par uski sakat se ziada bojh nhi dalta, wo unse wo hes hi cheen leta tha, aur wo jalti ret ki tapish ko bhi seh jate thay.

aur mai jo k, aik aam film par ghanton roti hun, jisko khayaal mai bhi kbhi apnon se bicharne ka khayaal ata tha to ghanton roti aur darti rehti thi,
iss qadar mutmaein aur razi ba raza bethi hun, k ye itminaan mere liye baice e pareshani he..!

na mai cheekhi, na shor machaya, na uss taur roi dhoi, aur na hi mar gai,

I know it all, But the realization z not coming over,
cheezen mere zehn mai fix nhi ho raheen, mene kbhi koi death dekhi nhi,
mjhe to andaza bhi nhi ho pa rha..!

shaid mai janaza dekh leti to realize to ho jata,
mai gham to mana leti apne taur,
mjhe itna to andaza ho jata, k mai kia cheez kho chuki hun,
mai jo poore ghar mai dada abu ki sabse ladli thi, mai hi na phnch saki .....!

''the very number of your hairs are numbered....!''

so jo cheez meri qismat mai na thi, usse mai bawajood koshish, kese pa sakti thi...!

maybe thore dinon mai I shall realize...!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My dadaabu has died...........!

Monday, January 26, 2009

I was a ........ ''dead pompei'', but Now ''I am alive''...!

aoa, bloggie!
yaar kia mausam he,
kal bhi bht acha tha,
I enjoyed it so much yesterday,
I was feeling like, ''I am alive''

the air felt so good on skin as if every cell of mine was living to its fullest..!
I felt so free,

and then today,
after four months I sat on ma chat,z wall..!
''kafi dinon baad apni scooter urai,'' [in my version of talk]
[: a naughty grin]

Thanks to maya, I love summers now, just due to this errand, I do...!
breaking the chains, and being what you are....!

People tell me it,s more sardi these days, but dunno I dont feel so,
atleast its better than that dry, barren, suffocating cold.......!

Atleast you feel that yeah, my dear you are living...., your dear skin can breath........!
everything not that God damn still, as if you are a part of the dead pompei....!

Believe me I was feeling lyk this a month before.... ''DEAD POMPEI''..!

Sunday, January 25, 2009


well, kafi awaragardi ki he aaaj......, wese kal bhi ki thi.....!
saray shehr ka round laga lia.....!
did whatever we wanted to.....!

friends are life, bht enjoy kia aaj.....!

kal se phr routine shuruuu...!

Saturday, January 24, 2009


have got much to tell, but I am not feeling like writing.....!

Can it be compensated.....?
it can be, but later on..................!

Friday, January 23, 2009


bloggie I hav bought a new cell phone, and I am loving it.....!
watched ''kuch kuch hota he'' with mom,

and let me tell you wat, Javed Akhtar sahab z more than superb,
kia beizat krte hen agle bnde ko....!
''mera mood nhi khrab, mere kaan theek hen..!''
just awesome........!

and wat else, lyf going smooth,

maybe tomorrow I ,ll be having some fun piece to write for You...!

Just in case if the things went All rightt....!

Monday, January 19, 2009

bht ziada gham mai bhi to.......

issi ghazal ka aik aur shair he,

wo mai khti hoti hun na,
''the biggest tragedies are always comic''

kuch wesi hi baat he.......! :grin
kal bhi Ali bhai ne show kia,
4 houred...!
aur int aur g.shouq donon hi bht zabardast thay

Baat niklaygi to phr door talak jaegi.....! :grin

Ali bhai ne uss din show mai aik shair prha tha,
thanks to mairi k ussne mjhe bta dia.....

paerh ko deemak lag jaye, ya adamzad ko gham
donon hi ko amjad humne bachte dekha kam

The Zahir mai Paul coelho khte hen
''The zahir either leads you to madness or holiness.''

meri zaban mai....
'' ya Udharrrrr k, ya phir kidhr k bhi nhi''

wese ye udhar walon ka bhi pata nhi chalta,
kbhi kbhi jo kidhar ka nhi hota, udhar ka ho jata he,

aur jo udhar ka hota he,
to khayaal ye he k...,
''Rasian kat bhi to jati hen.........!''
rasiaaaaan kat bhi to jati hen,
kia he k, kat bhi to jati hen na.......!

aur phr yun ho k ,

na khuda mila na wisal e sanam
na idhar k rahe na udhar k rahe..!

tamana bhi kisay he...!
na khuda ki, na visaal e sanam ki,
donon hi se farigh.........!

jis haal mai rakh raha he hum ussi mai razi hen, tera lakh lakh shukar he........!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

going through...............

was reading older posts just now,

acha laga, I enjoyed...!

kal raat Ali bhai ka show bht fit tha,

maybe I hav,nt told you bloggie,
but radio is an important thing to me,
it helped me coming out of a bad time of life....,
and for that I,ll be always thankful to it.....!

kher talkin abt last night,

sbh ppr tha, but i knew k show hoga InshAllah,
koi derh baje k qareeb noon meem rashid ki aik nazm abu lahb ki shadi ki kuch lines zehn baar baar repeat kr raha tha,
bht enjoy kia unhen.....!

shab e zufaf e abu lahab thi,
magar khudaya wo kesi shab thi,
abu lahb ki dulhan jab ai to sar pe eendhan
gale mai sanpon k haar lai,


Faiz k khatoot shamil kiye Ali bhai ne,
aur Faiz to phr Faiz hen,

Monday, January 12, 2009

........! ...........!

aaaj aik benaam si udaasi, wehshat aur becheni si he, bhtttttttt arsay baad ye kefiat hui,

acha he! kbhi kbhi insan ko bilawajah bhi rona chahiye!

aaaj ali bhai ka interview prha,
it said k ''budha ki maaa bhi yahi chahti hogi k usska beta khush rahe lekin uski aftaad tabbaa ne usse chen se na bethne dia aur wo janglon mai ja nikla!''

Mufti ji khte hen k
''aaj mera beta shehr k farzanon ki nazar mai lok tamasha bana hua he''

Pata nahi meri maa kia khti hogi...!

U knw wat bloggie, I am not the same one,
waqt ne haalaat ne rawaiyon ne bht Muhtaat kr dia he....!
Ab mjhe dar lagta he kaheen bht andar,
ab mjh mai uss qadar pukhta yaqeen nhi he, meri ''gaeti'' mar rahi he.......!

mjhe bht khof ata he, yaar blog mjhe apna aap bht pyara he,
aur hona bhi chahiye, maybe aksariat k khayaal mai ye aik manfi jazba he,
lekin mjhe to ye bht masbat lgta he..!
mjhe apne andar ki gaeti bht aziz he, I dnt wanna loose it,
I want ma free spirit back..!

Ghaliban logon ko ehsaas bhi nhi hota hoga k unn ki choti choti baton se kitna farq par jata he,
koi dunya se badzan ho sakta he,
kisi ki gaeti mar sakti he...,
kisi subak raftaar ko upni uraan pe qaed lgani par sakti he...,
mehez shikari parindon ki wajah se..!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

.......! ..............!

bloggie, I am having exams,
so I wont be coming much.....!

and yeah,
I have revived back a little bit of enthusiasm,
Paaanch so kitaben.......! :grin

I am jeolous....! :(
and I am waiting to put ma hands on it..!

Friday, January 9, 2009


hello bloggie,
not that spirit of enthusiasm flowing in me the way it was, the past week....!

still there are after effects.......!

Sunday, January 4, 2009


I am tryin hard to get Altaf fatima,s no..!

I searched for many hours on net last night...!
The latest info was abt her second eye surgery, in whose result she can now, atleast see.

I got the names of some places she was in contact with...!
got the no,s of those through ptcl service,
2morrow I shall call,
keep the fingers crossed.....!

Even Feroz sons are not knowing abt her,
they are printing succesive editions of dastak na do, still they have no contact of hers...

[shall give a detail account]

Saturday, January 3, 2009


aaaj ka din aik positive din tha,
aaj mene kafi koshishen ki k kisi trh altaf fatima sahiba ka no hasil ho jaye..., magar mumkin na hua,

kai jagah calls keen, unk publishers ko bhi unka kuch nhi pata tha,

bht dukh hua, hum kitne khudgharz log hen...,

jese artist aaab e hayaat mai bheege huay romal hon,
apne matlab ka arq nichora..,
aur jab sab hasil kar liye to poocha bhi nhi..., phenk dia utha kar....!

wese mjhe ye digest wale log achay lagay,
mera nhi khayaal tha k umat-ul-saboor se itni asaani se rabta ho jaye ga...,
aur phr wo mere masle par tawajjah bhi dengi...
bari baat he yaar...!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

mufti ji.........

hey i got Alakhnagri,
after a long, long, long ,long longggggggggg wait........!

mjhe aajkal mufti ji ho gaya he... :grin

Talash mai aksi mufti batate hen k mufti ji unhe khte thay...!

'' dekho achi, na tumhara koi taya he na koi phupha, na koi mama he na chacha, bas aik mai hun tumhara abba. mai hi tumhara dost aur mere sab dost bhi tumhare dost hen''

pata nhi iss jumle mai kia tha, it made me cry alot...!