WHEN MY SORROW WAS BORN.....!.

When my sorrow was born I nursed it with care,
and watched over it with loving tenderness.

And my Sorrow grew like all living things, strong and beautiful and full of wondrous delights.

And we loved one another, my Sorrow and I, and we loved the world about us; for Sorrow had a kindly heart and mine was kindly with Sorrow.

Amd when we conversed, my Sorrow and I, our days were winged and our nights were girdled with dreams; for Sorrow had an eloquent tongue, and mine was eloquent with Sorrow.

And when we sang together, my Sorrow and I, our neighbors sat at their windows and listened; for our songs were deep as the sea and our melodies were full of strange memories.

And when we walked together, my Sorrow and I, people gazed at us with gentle eyes and whispered in words of exceeding sweetness. And there were those who looked with envy upon us, for Sorrow was a noble thing and I was proud with Sorrow.


But my Sorrow died, like all living things, and alone I am left to muse and ponder.

And now when I speak my words fall heavily upon my ears. And when I sing my songs my neighbours come not to listen.

And when I walk the streets no one looks at me.

Only in my sleep I hear voices saying in pity, "See, there lies the man whose Sorrow is dead."


An excerpt from ''THE MADMAN'' BY KHALIL GIBRAN

[Mayya, I remember how much we loved and fought reading these extracts,
specially these two,
''when my sorrow was born'' , and
''when my joy was born'' ,

And that one "Crucified"
Your favourites,
I am loving reading them again....! ]

some extracts from ''SAND and FOAM'' by ''Khalil Gibran''

''They say the nightangale pierces his bosom with a thorn,

when he sings his lovesong.

So do we all. How else could we sing?''

And again

''A madman is not less a musician than you or myself ; only the instrument

on which he plays is a little out of tune."

Another.........,

''In the autumn I gathered all my sorrows and buried them in my garden.

And when April returned and spring came to wed the earth,

there grew in my grden beautiful flowers unlike all other flowers.

And my neighbours came to behold them,

and they all said to me,

'' When autumn comes again, at seeding time, will you

not give us of the seeds of these flowers that we may have them in our gardens?''

....... ....... ......

kuch dinon phle tak mai ye khti thi, k
''yaar kbhi mere kisi apne ko kuch hogaya to mai to mar jaungi...!
log kese bardasht kr lete he...!''

aur aaj mai zinda hun, kha rhi hun, pi rahi hun , bht normal hun,
iss qadar iztarab bhi nhi he k marne ko ji chahe,

aur ye sab isiliye nhi, k mera manna ye he,
k marne walon k saath mara nhi jata
blk srf isliye,
k mjhe andaza hi nhi ho pa rha k kia ho chuka he...!



I am unable to understand things,
My feelings have gone numb, totally numb, my heart is unfeeling.!
And I am hating it.....

ya khof se dar guzren, ya jaan se guzar jaein
marna he k jeena he, ik baat theher jaye....!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

blog, dost itni bari rehmat hote hen,
thakan aur asaab k tnao k baice jism toot raha tha,
fatima se baat hui to yun laga jese meri ragon ko jo kisi guche ki manind ulajh gai theen,
koi ahista ahista suljha raha ho,
wo tanao jo meri kamar se brhta brhta kandhon aur phr gardan ki taraf travel kar raha tha,[ aur yun lagta tha k jese meri aik aik rag ko koi churion se kaat rha ho, ]
jese fatima se baat krne k doran ahista ahista dissolve ho gaya.....!



kal ka din bht ajeeb tha, sari hisyaat goya so gai theen, sochne samajhne aur mehsoos krne ki salahiat khtm ho gai thi, [ abhi bhi mai kuch bhi mehsoos nhi kr pa rhi, kam az kam wo nhi jise mehsoos krna bnta he]
mai itni normal bethi hun blog, k mai bata nhi sakti,

fatima khti he k
jab sahaba ikram ko jalti ret par lite dete thay kufaar, to wo mar kion nhi jae thay........?
isliye k Allah bara rehman he, aur wo kisi par uski sakat se ziada bojh nhi dalta, wo unse wo hes hi cheen leta tha, aur wo jalti ret ki tapish ko bhi seh jate thay.


aur mai jo k, aik aam film par ghanton roti hun, jisko khayaal mai bhi kbhi apnon se bicharne ka khayaal ata tha to ghanton roti aur darti rehti thi,
iss qadar mutmaein aur razi ba raza bethi hun, k ye itminaan mere liye baice e pareshani he..!

na mai cheekhi, na shor machaya, na uss taur roi dhoi, aur na hi mar gai,

I know it all, But the realization z not coming over,
cheezen mere zehn mai fix nhi ho raheen, mene kbhi koi death dekhi nhi,
mjhe to andaza bhi nhi ho pa rha..!

shaid mai janaza dekh leti to realize to ho jata,
mai gham to mana leti apne taur,
mjhe itna to andaza ho jata, k mai kia cheez kho chuki hun,
mai jo poore ghar mai dada abu ki sabse ladli thi, mai hi na phnch saki .....!

But
''the very number of your hairs are numbered....!''

so jo cheez meri qismat mai na thi, usse mai bawajood koshish, kese pa sakti thi...!

maybe thore dinon mai I shall realize...!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My dadaabu has died...........!

I was a ........ ''dead pompei'', but Now ''I am alive''...!

aoa, bloggie!
yaar kia mausam he,
ahhhhhhhh.....!
kal bhi bht acha tha,
I enjoyed it so much yesterday,
I was feeling like, ''I am alive''

the air felt so good on skin as if every cell of mine was living to its fullest..!
I felt so free,


and then today,
ahhhh,
after four months I sat on ma chat,z wall..!
''kafi dinon baad apni scooter urai,'' [in my version of talk]
[: a naughty grin]


Thanks to maya, I love summers now, just due to this errand, I do...!
breaking the chains, and being what you are....!

People tell me it,s more sardi these days, but dunno I dont feel so,
atleast its better than that dry, barren, suffocating cold.......!

Atleast you feel that yeah, my dear you are living...., your dear skin can breath........!
everything not that God damn still, as if you are a part of the dead pompei....!




Believe me I was feeling lyk this a month before.... ''DEAD POMPEI''..!

..............,

well, kafi awaragardi ki he aaaj......, wese kal bhi ki thi.....!
saray shehr ka round laga lia.....!
did whatever we wanted to.....!

friends are life, bht enjoy kia aaj.....!

kal se phr routine shuruuu...!
uhhhh.......!

......,

well,
have got much to tell, but I am not feeling like writing.....!

Can it be compensated.....?
it can be, but later on..................!

,........,..........,

bloggie I hav bought a new cell phone, and I am loving it.....!
watched ''kuch kuch hota he'' with mom,

and let me tell you wat, Javed Akhtar sahab z more than superb,
kia beizat krte hen agle bnde ko....!
''mera mood nhi khrab, mere kaan theek hen..!''
just awesome........!

and wat else, lyf going smooth,
maybe tomorrow I ,ll be having some fun piece to write for You...!

Just in case if the things went All rightt....!

bht ziada gham mai bhi to.......

issi ghazal ka aik aur shair he,

BHT ZIADA GHAM MAI BHI TO HANS PARTA HE INSAAN,
BHT KHUSHI SE BHI TO ANKHEN HO JATI HEN NAM....!
wo mai khti hoti hun na,
''the biggest tragedies are always comic''

kuch wesi hi baat he.......! :grin
kal bhi Ali bhai ne show kia,
4 houred...!
aur int aur g.shouq donon hi bht zabardast thay

Baat niklaygi to phr door talak jaegi.....! :grin

aaah...,
Ali bhai ne uss din show mai aik shair prha tha,
thanks to mairi k ussne mjhe bta dia.....

paerh ko deemak lag jaye, ya adamzad ko gham
donon hi ko amjad humne bachte dekha kam

The Zahir mai Paul coelho khte hen
''The zahir either leads you to madness or holiness.''

meri zaban mai....
'' ya Udharrrrr k, ya phir kidhr k bhi nhi''

wese ye udhar walon ka bhi pata nhi chalta,
kbhi kbhi jo kidhar ka nhi hota, udhar ka ho jata he,

aur jo udhar ka hota he,
to khayaal ye he k...,
''Rasian kat bhi to jati hen.........!''
:grin
rasiaaaaan kat bhi to jati hen,
aha,
kia he k, kat bhi to jati hen na.......!

aur phr yun ho k ,

na khuda mila na wisal e sanam
na idhar k rahe na udhar k rahe..!


kher,
tamana bhi kisay he...!
na khuda ki, na visaal e sanam ki,
donon hi se farigh.........!

jis haal mai rakh raha he hum ussi mai razi hen, tera lakh lakh shukar he........!

going through...............

aoa,
was reading older posts just now,

acha laga, I enjoyed...!

kal raat Ali bhai ka show bht fit tha,

maybe I hav,nt told you bloggie,
but radio is an important thing to me,
it helped me coming out of a bad time of life....,
and for that I,ll be always thankful to it.....!

kher talkin abt last night,

sbh ppr tha, but i knew k show hoga InshAllah,
koi derh baje k qareeb noon meem rashid ki aik nazm abu lahb ki shadi ki kuch lines zehn baar baar repeat kr raha tha,
bht enjoy kia unhen.....!

shab e zufaf e abu lahab thi,
magar khudaya wo kesi shab thi,
abu lahb ki dulhan jab ai to sar pe eendhan
gale mai sanpon k haar lai,

Haye....,

Faiz k khatoot shamil kiye Ali bhai ne,
aur Faiz to phr Faiz hen,
LUTF HI AAGAYA.....!'

........! ...........!

aaaj aik benaam si udaasi, wehshat aur becheni si he, bhtttttttt arsay baad ye kefiat hui,

acha he! kbhi kbhi insan ko bilawajah bhi rona chahiye!

aaaj ali bhai ka interview prha,
it said k ''budha ki maaa bhi yahi chahti hogi k usska beta khush rahe lekin uski aftaad tabbaa ne usse chen se na bethne dia aur wo janglon mai ja nikla!''

Mufti ji khte hen k
''aaj mera beta shehr k farzanon ki nazar mai lok tamasha bana hua he''

Pata nahi meri maa kia khti hogi...!

U knw wat bloggie, I am not the same one,
waqt ne haalaat ne rawaiyon ne bht Muhtaat kr dia he....!
Ab mjhe dar lagta he kaheen bht andar,
ab mjh mai uss qadar pukhta yaqeen nhi he, meri ''gaeti'' mar rahi he.......!

mjhe bht khof ata he, yaar blog mjhe apna aap bht pyara he,
aur hona bhi chahiye, maybe aksariat k khayaal mai ye aik manfi jazba he,
lekin mjhe to ye bht masbat lgta he..!
mjhe apne andar ki gaeti bht aziz he, I dnt wanna loose it,
I want ma free spirit back..!

Ghaliban logon ko ehsaas bhi nhi hota hoga k unn ki choti choti baton se kitna farq par jata he,
koi dunya se badzan ho sakta he,
kisi ki gaeti mar sakti he...,
kisi subak raftaar ko upni uraan pe qaed lgani par sakti he...,
mehez shikari parindon ki wajah se..!

.......! ..............!

bloggie, I am having exams,
so I wont be coming much.....!

and yeah,
I have revived back a little bit of enthusiasm,
Paaanch so kitaben.......! :grin

I am jeolous....! :(
and I am waiting to put ma hands on it..!

..!................!

hello bloggie,
not that spirit of enthusiasm flowing in me the way it was, the past week....!


still there are after effects.......!

today....!

I am tryin hard to get Altaf fatima,s no..!
......................
......................
......................


I searched for many hours on net last night...!
The latest info was abt her second eye surgery, in whose result she can now, atleast see.

I got the names of some places she was in contact with...!
got the no,s of those through ptcl service,
2morrow I shall call,
keep the fingers crossed.....!

Even Feroz sons are not knowing abt her,
they are printing succesive editions of dastak na do, still they have no contact of hers...
Strange..!

READING ALAKHNAGRI...
[shall give a detail account]

...

aaaj ka din aik positive din tha,
aaj mene kafi koshishen ki k kisi trh altaf fatima sahiba ka no hasil ho jaye..., magar mumkin na hua,

kai jagah calls keen, unk publishers ko bhi unka kuch nhi pata tha,

bht dukh hua, hum kitne khudgharz log hen...,

jese artist aaab e hayaat mai bheege huay romal hon,
apne matlab ka arq nichora..,
aur jab sab hasil kar liye to poocha bhi nhi..., phenk dia utha kar....!

wese mjhe ye digest wale log achay lagay,
mera nhi khayaal tha k umat-ul-saboor se itni asaani se rabta ho jaye ga...,
aur phr wo mere masle par tawajjah bhi dengi...
bari baat he yaar...!

mufti ji.........

hey i got Alakhnagri,
after a long, long, long ,long longggggggggg wait........!

mjhe aajkal mufti ji ho gaya he... :grin

Talash mai aksi mufti batate hen k mufti ji unhe khte thay...!

'' dekho achi, na tumhara koi taya he na koi phupha, na koi mama he na chacha, bas aik mai hun tumhara abba. mai hi tumhara dost aur mere sab dost bhi tumhare dost hen''

pata nhi iss jumle mai kia tha, it made me cry alot...!