G@rdish e Ayaam

hey i,ll be having a new blog

2009-11-17T03:45:00.000-08:00

I would be having an active blog on word press from now-on.

http://yamnarehman.wordpress.com/
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Would appreciate If my readers come to that one...!

I miss the sun we shared.

2009-11-13T21:31:00.000-08:00

Warda ikram, Hadia Ameen, Summaiya Ali,
sitting under the sun ,
I am here missing you people and the Sun that we used to share.
Sun is shining the usual way but neither Am I sitting on the grassy patch of our college garden nor I have you people by my side.

I miss the achar paratha that we used to eat,
[believe me it doesn't tastes least bit good when you people are not around]

I miss the bad jokes that I can crack only in Sumi,s presence.
[DAMN HER EYES AND EXPRESSIONS.]
I have never been so interested in talking about bad stuff but she.... argh
Now I am a bad girl ;)
Thanx to you.

I miss all those badminton matches between me and my dear hadi.
And that stupid and [nahoosat bhari] commentary of Warda ikram and Summiya Ali.
we would have used our rackets more on them than the poor shuttle.

I miss those taxi rides when I and Warda used to jump off without paying the fare
and Sumi and Hadi were left to give whole of the rent.

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I just cant bring it into imagination that Warda would be attending her classes alone
[ and damn me its more of the fact that I am not there with her and some other people would be, than the feeling that she is attending her classes alone. I am such a jealous and possessive soul.]

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Hi, to my coming nieces and nephews
[chchch sumi and hadi (lately married)]

Iqbal Bano Live - Piya Baj Pyala Piya Jaey Na

2009-11-05T22:20:00.001-08:00

Quli qutub shah wrote this kalam back in sixteenth century,
[He was the first Sahib-e-deewan poet of urdu.]

When Ahmad faraz sahab wrote his ghazal which was in qutub,s "zameen" he ended his ghazal with the following shair.

Quli shah qutab ho k ahmad faraz
Piya baj sach he, jiya jaye na

Gibran out of "sand and foam"

2009-11-04T23:04:00.001-08:00

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I am forever walking upon these shores,
Betwixt the sand and the foam,
The high tide will erase my foot-prints,
And the wind will blow away the foam.
But the sea and the shore will remain
Forever.

I am afraid for my seas and shore....!

Sumi,s wedding

2009-11-04T21:34:00.000-08:00

Well on the last Monday, it was Sumi,s wedding.
we never took her for that but she was and is a good friend...!

Live and Let others live .....!

2009-11-03T02:05:00.000-08:00

My office was closed for three days on the basis of you can well assume what.
And when I was coming here today, I was told by a fellow passenger that my office is situated in a building very likely to be BOMBED away.
Arghhhhhhh......!

I am fed-up of things...,
specially of people who message me and tell me that today this and that place is likely to be blown away and in this much hours...!
[usually containing the name of the place my office is situated in]
Come on...!

I fear half of the Pakistani population is in ISI....!
God help you.

Guys things are already too worse to need your help in further worsening.
Get a life....!

yamna vs aristotle

2009-10-28T01:50:00.001-07:00

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind
Aristotle.

So my dear yamna.., what do you think of thisssssssssssss?

money is money, do not to be jealous of others and shut your mouth!
Yamna.

I sit, wonder and cry...!

2009-10-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

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life draws out all the pieces, and when by chance and fate these pieces of jigsaw join, the picture made is so incomprehensible that one wonders at the turns life took.
The spaces between "all that we were" and "all that we are" are so well filled and everything has such a good excuse to happen that one just cant help but sit bewildered.

Life is a bad thing, it goes round and round and you meet the same people on every corner and yet you know that you have traveled miles and centuries. Days pass and nights pass, and eventually you pass away, but all you remember meeting is blockages, walls, turn-abouts, round-abouts and people shouting that you are nothing and will remain to be nothing.

Yet one crosses all mazes and at-least once in his lifetime finds a destination, and then finds that it was not but a milestone.

My head is a roller coaster....!

2009-10-26T01:37:00.000-07:00

My head is a roller coaster and is fed-up of rolling over and over.

I just want to loll it to sleep...!

my neck hurts..., cant carry the weight of this small brain and big head, ANYMORE..!

Green tea makes no improvement...
farewell to my eyes................!

Why migraine has started traveling down the body.. it,s back and limbs now..!

Blog tumhe pata he..!

2009-10-23T03:13:00.000-07:00

Abu lahab ki khabr jo ai
to salha saal ka zamana ghubar ban kr bikhar chuka tha.

salha-sal ka zamana
salha-saal ka....!

kbhi prhna Abu-lahab ki shadi..................!
salha-sal ka zamana pal bhar mai to nhi guzara na.......!

My hands and tongue are nasty creatures......!

2009-10-23T02:29:00.000-07:00

How many days have passed and nobody returned..
I stand here, waiting...,
nobody gave a call,
I was a crap and was well thrown of,
by my own hand perhaps....!
But should I remorse for the gone?

It hurts when realizations come over....!

Being non-political

2009-10-20T22:42:00.000-07:00

Why do I feel that this current chain of bomb blasts and Kerry Luger Bill are somehow connected.......!

just realized.......!

2009-10-20T02:17:00.000-07:00

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zindagi itni masroof ho gai he k bare dinon se apnon ko yaad krne ki bhi fursat nhi mili.
strange

Too busy...!

2009-10-19T23:43:00.000-07:00

looking at this page of my blog....
I feel that either I have become unproductive, or too busy to think and write.

Well, I had wished like hell for such days,
and its not that I regret but for this page of MY BLOG, which is free of any creative spark.

Days are so busy and hectic, and I feel so content and satisfied with myself.
sakoon itna he k mar jane ko ji chahta he
wese, kher esi bhi koi baat nhi, lekin din bhar ka thaka hara insan jab bistar par girta he to esi pursakoon neend ati he k jiski tamanna mene hamesha ki.

tum to jante ho blog k mjhe sochen bistar par girne k baad pareshan krti hain..
aur ajkal neend sochne ki mohlat nhi deti...!

mai khush hun aur khne ko ziada kch hota nhi he.......
lekin dil dukhta he k akhir tum meri zindagi ka aik aham hissa ho,
jin dino tum se door rehti hun, dil ko koi khalish stati he...
kher ajj madawe kliye haziri di....

zehn mai bht se khayaal hen magar itne khaas nhi k qalamband karun...
Take care...........
May I come sooner

2009-10-18T23:53:00.000-07:00

Shiny figures have black spaces.

Brains child brains

2009-10-14T23:17:00.000-07:00

I believe my mother took a lot of oily fish when she was pregnant.

lord of the rings

2009-10-11T22:07:00.001-07:00

I ate some biscuits[center filled], and thought of lembas.

effect of recent readings.

I am the vampire lestat..!

2009-10-08T22:46:00.000-07:00

I love the violin being played

What a luring piece of music it is,
and Lestat, he is breathtaking

Hey friends, where you people are

2009-10-08T22:44:00.000-07:00

I am uzlem-ing you...........!

What does uzlem mean?
You need to ask it personally.

Money, Matters! Congratulations!

2009-10-08T00:05:00.000-07:00

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Hey, It,s my second day of joining.
Finally, I have got a job and a good one, to be more happy for.

I am assigned the post of a content writer, fine thing..!

I might not be that needy,
But I am GREEDY..!

:grin

Chchchch

2009-10-05T06:32:00.001-07:00

I am the kissed frog,
pity for the kisser, for I am no prince.

would be leaving

2009-09-28T05:41:00.002-07:00

would be having exams in november,
and I am fed up with this stupid ptcl, so will be abandoning it....,

lets see when I come back then....!

ye bhi he, magar .......... kher ;)

2009-09-28T05:34:00.000-07:00

Woh manay na manay yeh marzy hai un ki !
Magar un ko Purnam Mana kar tu dekhoo

Happy Eid

2009-09-19T04:13:00.000-07:00

by the by
Happy Eid bloggie,

had no money to buy you some eidi..
but you love me, right?
:grin

Strange how life turns out

2009-09-19T04:07:00.000-07:00

People are out there but all i have is pictures.

Lord of the rings...

2009-09-11T10:28:00.000-07:00

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.

read first of the book series,
planning to finish others soon.
Thanks to Tayyaba.

Mujhse barham aap kia huay/ sari kainaat ho gai.

2009-09-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

...
A big number of people less on the eid wishers list this time...

Magic wand's work....
Man does not remain content on the fair/unfair share of love that he is getting.
He asks for more, Alas ends up gettig none, and loosing even the one that he had.

Poor I, who did,nt understand that, and went asking for it, thinking that it was her right...!

So nobody to compare and discuss my eid preparations with,
[I have made no new dress for Eid this time, and I dont know Why...! ]
no early morning Eid wishes.

Welcome to the world girlie...!

2009-09-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

Summaya The Poet has been giving birth to words, phrases, sentences and other stuff.

But Today, She gave birth to a baby girl.

Note:- I am a Khala now :smile .

chess, Fati admission,

2009-09-02T14:39:00.000-07:00

Learned to play chess yesterday,
Pretty nice game..., :smile
[ I lost all]

Learned the basics only..., but it was fun playing.
Planning to have more of such games with Saba.

Fati went to pindi again.
News is that she got a job, and admission in two medical colleges...,
lets see where she goes.

Jalib made me say so too.

2009-09-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

Hum Ahl-e-muhabbat paa lenge, apne hi sahare Manzil ko,
....... Yaaraan e siasat ne har soo, phelaein hen rangeen jaal to kia.

Superstions..! Big Time..!

2009-09-01T11:57:00.000-07:00

Chanda tu kundalaio..,
Sooraj na kundla,
Jab raja ran charhe,
Ya meenh barse besh baha ..!

My phupho told me this one, two years back,
When I was watching the chand [ moon]
and she commented , that those who watch moon for a long time, loose their sanity.
PRETTY TRUE....!

On another note,
to add in, Mom has her science based theory,
Ants and those other pretty creatures are acting mad these days,
acting like desperates, taking away everything that they can.
Mom says, they are storing for the Rainy days...!

Note:-
I dont watch weather channel..!
:grin

CUT IT...!

2009-08-31T04:11:00.000-07:00

ACTUALLY using internet less,
I am not pretending....,
.....................................SO SHUT UP BLOG....!

money, money... :grin

2009-08-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

Trying to have a part time job...,
having an interview tomorrow.
Wish me luck....!

hum ese saada dilon ki niazmadi se.....

2009-08-20T11:49:00.000-07:00

blog dear,
bnde ka jab ji uth jaye, har uss cheez pe se, jis pe usska Eeeman tha...,
yakdammmmmmmmmmm,

wo kia kre....,

mera dil nhi krta jeene ko,

ye dunya to meri soch se bhi buri he...!

mai kese jeoungi inn sab logon k saath?
mar mar k...?

ufff...,

mjhe pata he I,ll get out of this

but at the moment I am very hurt and very unsure...!

Discovery

2009-08-20T11:45:00.000-07:00

sachai ka parchaar krne wale nawe feesad log awal darje k jhoote aur zaleel hote hen....

baqi das feesad jhoote ban rhe hote hen aur zaleel kiye ja rhay hote hen...!

2009-08-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

The day was so bad...
I am on the end of my nerves

one of the worst days ever.............!
dunya pe se aetbaar uth jaye yakdam to bnda jhala hi phirta he....!

???

2009-08-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

Why I am so unfeeling today.....?
ajab safaki he mizaaj mai...

maybe I know the answer

thanks old buddies...,

2009-08-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

At a time when it costs 60 paisas per 30 seconds,
and 2.5rs per hour at nights

here you are, who never calls,
and are indifferent to my life and death...!

It feels nice...!

years have past by

2009-08-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

mayya,
you are out of contact...,
please,
have heard nothing directly from your side,

God knows, you come online at what time.....!

finally, she went off ... but for good I hope...!

2009-08-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

hadia got married,
she is happy,
a positive plus to my otherwise low life.....!

and she was looking a princess of dunno what place.......!
she is such a child, such a child.....,
I am an elder sister of many older people.
bachi he meri,
she was acting wild on her rukhsati day,
and was looking so cute...

video is with warda,
dunno when she,ll give it to me.....!

love you hadia........!

arghhhhhhh

2009-08-16T06:01:00.001-07:00

I am feeling the unfeeling of people...,

insensitivity has a high population rate...!

money matters....1

2009-08-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

I didnt had to go to Afriqa in search of hunger and death.

There is just a road and a high wall between....!

They come quite frequent.., I wonder why?

2009-08-10T10:17:00.001-07:00

Such unabashed visitors breaths are,
kept coming when they knew how weary of them I am....!!!

There have been times, when they just peeped in,
and considered stepping in,,,,,,,,
but have never stopped coming altogether....!

I dont know whether to be grateful or not..!

fears

2009-08-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

The realization that sooner or later I would be the loneliest person,
on the planet earth is eating me away .....!

hadia,s nikah today

2009-08-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

well, getting married at an early age, yup she is.....!

Apart from all the pros and all the cons [ usually told] , which keep exchanging their places,
with the variation of the perfect marrying age, and blah blah.....!
[ as per anybody and anybody thinks...! ]

What I thought was that marrying at an early age certainly has a charm,
which I and some of my other friends wont be enjoying, if we ever ever planned to get married....!

For marrying at that point of life would be such an OBVIOUS thing, especially,
with one friend holding her three kids at your one side
and the second holding her four at your other.
;grin

nothing unusual..., Dahhhhhhhh....!

NO CLIMAX
:p
[ as per a faavourite drama dialogue says]

hadia was not looking a darling, she was looking more than that
eagerly signing her nikah papers,
laughing like a toad
[ mind my eyes]

and making those faces
eating like a hippo
and looking like a barbie.!

I told you to mind my eyes, they see wierdly
;grinjavascript:void(0)
Publish Post
Soon she would be off to her new home
GOD BLESS HER,and may all her wishes be fulfilled...!

clock minds its minutes..!

2009-08-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

khandraat aur imarat mai farq mehez waqt ka hota he.......!
har shaks, qoum aur cheez ka aik waqt hota he,
kamyaab aur azeem bas wahi shay hoti he, jo usss waqt ko pehchaan le, aur uska bharpoor istamaal kre....!

resonance frequency pehchaan le jo apni,
kionk agay peeche to sab bekaar he,
waqt srf wahi he..., moqaa srf wahi he.....!

and when you get that special minute, just make sure to fill it with sixty worthy seconds...!

Issb........, I didnt get selected...!

2009-07-29T11:09:00.000-07:00

yaar blog, I know that I have that substance in me,
one way or the other I will reach the point I want to reach
ok, I cried alot on this,
coz I know that I wanted it, and I deserved it like hell
but mene kb dua ki thi k God give me this.......!
I always said
"Allah give me what I want and what is better for me."
So maybe I have something better enstored for me

Conclusion

2009-07-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

People torture, but more do their memories

biggy big......... [mood :- cracked headed]

2009-07-28T05:15:00.000-07:00

Big things happen,

.........................But smaller make them do.......!

Age matters...........!

2009-07-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

She was the oldest 26 year-old, I heard.....!

Do tell everybody [ she included], that I am the oldest 18 year-old.....!

A test or a trip.......!

2009-07-27T10:54:00.000-07:00

well, ISSB, what about it.......!

At first I said .........
such a long story...., and who would write/type/pen/keyboard down all that.......!

but on second thoughts, such a hilarious experience it was..., one has to record it down, for future remembrance.....!

I grin......

2009-07-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

I forgive things, but who said that I forget them

leaving without a jet plane, on a coaster perhaps.!

2009-07-19T15:45:00.000-07:00

blog, ja rhi hun, kal mai...!
Issb par...!

sari bethi hun, abhi packing waghera sab, prha bhi khaaas nhi..!
Aur ghar walon friends se paanch din door,
taqreeban sab ajnabi log...!

I am not a crying baby, but ese hi udaasi he kuch...!

And Now I add to the post... [ its 12 in the afternoon, just one day to go]
udaasi had se sawa he....,
being out of contact with , what I ccall my total world, for five days.....!
I am really not liking the idea
:sadness creeping in.....!

cheese.....! :grin

2009-07-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

I feel healthy you knw
a bit pissed off, for some bad comments I got..., but otherwise allright!

yaar blog, you know that I have stopped caring about stupid stuff people have to say
but one does get sensitive,
when he is so told to be a thing, that he has taken so much pains not to be....!

My mom qoutes a shair often

Go zara si baat par barson k yarane gaye
lekin itna to hua, kuch log pehchane gaye

aur iss case mai, lor hi ko nhi ji..! ;grin

I am coming over things early..., Right...,
Good girl aint I ..?
[bhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

HEY LISTEN BLOG.......! I hate diplomatic games....! [bhrrrrrrrr]
:p

I call out for you................!

2009-07-17T15:39:00.001-07:00

Well, I used to have readers,
was not that sooo, blog...?

so where are you ppl,
you used to visit me often,
but nowwwwwwwwwww,
maybe you passby, but never a call..., never a knock, never a tête-à-tête,
never a sentence or two, out of your busy head..!

But you are busy, I see, or maybe you dont care..!

Thankyou my Allah, thakyou my God...!

2009-07-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

Blog,
do thank your God....,
we should thank Him.

kal soch rhi thi k kitna karam he Allah saein ka,
k above all,
agar hum gire bhi to ussne hmare liye sambhalne wale rakh chore.
jald ya badair hamen ese logon ka saath mila, jinhon ne zakhmon par marham rakha aur zehr ka tiryaaq kia.
wrna marna kuch esa mushkil bhi to nhi...!

Paul coelho ki baat bhulaye nhi bhoolti.
I,ll accept the zahir and will let it lead me into a state of either holiness or madness.

mai unn logon k bare mai soch rhi thi,
jo gire honge, thokar kha gaye honge, uthne ki sakkat na hogi,
hath phele honge, aur thamne wala hath na hoga.
tanhai si tanhai hogi.

Hum itne ache haalon mai hen blog k kia kahun....!

Rabba saein tera bhti karam ae...!

Why is it so...?

2009-07-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

blog,
zameen se aasmaan tak ka safar bht khoobsurat hota he
magar aasman se zameen ka......?

manzar to sab wahi hote hen
order reverse ho jata he srf,
aur ye baat hum insanon k palle nhi parti
zehn catch nhi kr pata ye haqeeqat

upar jate huay bnde ki nazar srf manzil ki taraf hoti he
magar neeche girte waqt sab oar nazar hoti he
sab dikh jata he
jo hota he wo bhi
aur jo nhi hota wo bhi...!

esa kion blog...?

Thanks...!

2009-07-11T14:53:00.001-07:00

Its such a nice feeling to see people coming on your blog from places
even you dont know name of.
Even though you ppl never comment, [ which I really want to]
but still feedjit is a nice thing, It always tell me whenever you come.

It actually feels nice.
:grin

An addition to my realization box

2009-07-07T16:18:00.000-07:00

I learned that
khud ko turram khan samajhne wale, awal darje k gdhe hote hen
and That I am the biggest example
no jokes.....!

blog dear, until, yamna herself, start working for herself,
she is not worth a penny.

going on,s ................, turn offs

2009-07-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

I ve recieved my ISSB call,
am waiting for baba,s call,

now he,ll call and ask me
sifarish karun
and I will say no

[ but no, he wont even ask, he would tell.....]

that , that and that are his contacts and I,ll be surpassing the world using his personal contacts, what rubbish...!

[ still, I am happy, atleast he,s asking... ;grin]

and when I,ll tell him that No, I dont need his assistance
and fortunately, when, I ,ll fail this crap buisnes...,
He,ll be thr, with his lot.... thumbs down-ing.

haaa, nice Imagination..., Right...!
:grin

ummm,.......... she is going

2009-06-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

Blog Mayya is going to America tonight

gala pakra gaya he...,
itna asar to hona hi tha
:smile

Dua kr,
zarurat he.....!

Wish Me luck

2009-06-15T14:33:00.000-07:00

Wish me Luck...!
for I have done nothing, worth the things...!
wish me wish me..!

I am a bad fellow
but do wish me......., for I need it badly..!

Birthday Tale

2009-06-04T13:23:00.000-07:00

Clock stikes twelve, and I am eighteen....!

Statistics may always go wrong, because I know myself to be the spinning old lady,
that spindled on the sun.

You never saw me, for I was not even ashes.

I wonder, Why Peter Pan tells me, he envies my youth.
;grin

Tales of No world........

2009-05-26T13:28:00.000-07:00

There was a princess, she went asleep when got pricked.
And look here am I, I got pricked, and my yearn to wake has just begun.
But then, She was a princess and I am not.
That always mattered.

Then there was another, she looked back, and time freezed her with a witch,s spell.
[ But it was only hypothesizing, reality had been another, Always...!]
When I looked back, I got dumbfounded, kept looking for too long,
but then gulped down the poisoned apple, turned around aud moved forward.

Aaab e gum

2009-05-24T12:46:00.000-07:00

khayaal aya, jab cheezen aur log, hum se door ho jate hen, to humen unka aik bhi talkh rawiya yaad nhi ata ,
aur hamen bhi Aaab e gum mai zikr ki gai haweli ki trh
apni apni hawelian kisi mehal se kam nhi dikhteen..!

Paper is patient..! Be please...!

2009-05-21T10:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah a long time after,
frankly speaking, I used net daily, [Wont Lie..!]
but could nt make myself write something for you
You understand that I am moody,
so cut the crap, Dont Complain,
I am in no mood, already pissed off..!

mujh se barham aap kyaa hu’e

2009-05-21T06:18:00.000-07:00

bht udaas rhi half the day,
exams parson khtm ho chuke hen,
The feeling that I am wasting my time and myself is intense,
exams khtm ho chuke hen, ab mera prhne ko dil he...,
[ while mean while the exams the mind has been creative and everywhere except studies, Damn Me....!]

The positive thing is that I have entry tests still, so the hardwork still matters a hell billion....,
maybe I,ll put myself into something useful...!

I am hating the laziness of days and numbing factors of the heat.!
the nights are also so and so...!
I have finally revived the same feeling of nausea, which makes me feel so unenthusiastic, inactive and dumb..!
Laughing hurts!
my tummy doesnt likes that maybe, so mean she/he is...!

Read Imran Series, even it was not a stimulas..., which I am desperately in need of...!
listening to Nusrat Fateh Ali khan,
feeling is coming...
And I wait.....!

Aaj ko’ii baat ho gayii
vo na aaye raat ho gayii

mujh se barham aap kyaa huay
sari qainaat ho gayii

mar gaye mariiz-e-shaam-e-Gham
dard se nijaat ho gayii

2009-05-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, I smile,
and people wonder how come I do that.......!

Dancing my soul, on the beats He play

2009-05-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you want to do somethings, just for yourself,
I somehow have fallen in love with some of the dance types,

I feel the dancers communicating to God....
I want to learn them,
I want to dance them to myself...
I feel kind of pleasure in that,
like leaving yourself off to the beats, and letting yourself free on their command...
What a superb kind of submission it is.

phr wo yaad ata he
Kanjri bandyaan izzat nai katdi
sanu nach k yaar manawan de

aur phr haqeeqat wo bhi to he k........

H๑۩۞۩๑ UM@N BEINGZ, VEGET@BLEZ, or COMIC DU$T,we all D@NCE to a MY$TERIOU$ TONE, intoned in the DIST@NCE by an INVI$IBLE ๑۩۞۩๑ PL@YER..

chalo Faiz dil jalaein.....

2009-04-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

Wahi chashma baqaaa tha, jise sab saraaab samjhe
wahi khayaal mautbar thay jo khayaal tak na phnche

chalo Faiz dil jalaein, karen phr se arz e janan,
wo sukhn jo lab tak aye, pe sawaal tak na phnche

I promise....!

2009-04-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

Blog Iss waqt kefiat mai daal dia kisi ne.....!
blog abhi kisi ne kaha k mai apne khwabon ka khayaal rakhun...!
Pray, that I,ll be able to keep the promise
and give that person the strength too, k wo bhi apne neelepan ko mahfooz rakh sake...!

Blog, najane kion, I ss lamhe mjhe yaqeen ho chala he k aik waqt hoga, jo hmara hoga,
jab hum wo kar sakenge, jo krne kliye humen peda kiya gaya tha,
jab gend hmare court mai hogi,
jab hmara gametime hoga

Aur mjhe lgta he k har shaks ko,
thori ya bht, jald ya badair,
ye oppurtunity zaroor milti he, jab, uss par uss qadar zimedarian nhi hoteen,
k wo apne khwaab poore kr sake,
wo, wo kr sake jo uska belief he....!
wo leading position mai ho...!

lekin jab tak wo waqt ata he, hum thak chuke hotay hen...!
humare jism mai iss qadar taqat nhi rahi hoti k utna toil kr saken....!

Blog hmari himmat, taqat ko mujtamaaa rakhna,
humen waqt se pehle thaka mat dena..!

Blog mjhe lagta he k hmari sarisht mai jo ratti brabar bhi neki he,
wo hmari maoon ki mehnat ka samar he...!
k unhon ne tab, jab hum peda hone wale thay kasrat se quran shareef prha...,
aur srf ussi ki badolat mjhe lgta he, k kbhi na kbhi mai zindagi mai aik bht achi insaan, aur bht achi musalmaan banungi...!

Blog dua krna mere doston kliye,
mai nhi chahti k wo zindagi se kbhi bhi thaken, aaaj mjhe kisi ne bht rulaya,
bht emotional kr dia he, aur mai uski shukarguzaar hun,
mjhe uss shaks pe bara believe he, aur mai usse thora thora idealize krne lagi hun

Aur ab wo shaks iss baat par itraye mat...!
:grin

bas neela rhe, k usse khaas bnaya gaya he...,
aur blog usse keh do k mai koshish karungi k apne khwaaab poore karoon,
k mjh par uss se kam zimedarian hen,

isliye k mai esi position mai hun,
aur isliye bhi k mai ye kar sakti hun....!

2009-04-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

A day before yesterday, I wrote an afsana,
aik hi go mai....!

And the good part is, that I think that I can write well....!

Fatima has agreed to write that all neatly for me
[ lazy me, have always been wishing k kaash koi jin mil jata, meri jagah papers likhta wo]

And then maybe I,ll send it for publishing.....!

An often thought

2009-04-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

Blessed is the feeling,
when one wants to live no other,s life......!

Herat kada.... Ashfaq Ahmad sahab

2009-04-17T02:57:00.001-07:00

Since I had to return these two books, so on emergency and previosly done laziness basis
you are getting something out of ma two very favourite books....!
Back to back, ball to ball, hit after hit :grin

Heratkada, Dramon pe based book he. aur sare hi dramay ese k aik se barh kar aik...!
What is it that is not touched in this book, lovely.......!

Farar
Aalia: Ye kesi ajeeb o ghareeb matti he-kahan se aa pari aap k jooton par?
Kaleem: Mai nhi khta tha tjhe----- Wahan Pashmina he, mere bache hen- Meri rooh aur tamanaoun k janasheen ----- Shudam aur Gulla jan---- Pashmina aur mai do nhi hen, Aik hi awaaz ki baazgasht hen- Hum donon ------ Aalia I am sorry.

Bazghala aur bacha zaagh ka bhi kuch hissa hazir he,

Shah:
Ya Rabul aalameen, Ya Zuljalal, Ae mere Rab, mere Malik
Ye majboor mehez teri azmaishgah mai hazir he aur apne saath apne bete ko isliye laya he k maslak e ibrahimi par amal kare, Mujh praganda o sarguzishta sarisht mai itni Qooat-e-Eeman to nhi k iss zaaghzaade ko mehez teri razaa-o-rughbat kliye peh kar doon- Par Qadir-o-Aadil Aarzoomeri yahi he k tu iss kawe k bache ko, k bht shor machata he, Qurban Ali ki jagah qabool frma le- Baar Ilha iss kawe k bache ko qabool kr-Aur uss bazghale ko chor de , Apne habeeb k sadqe, Uss kaali kamli wale k sadqe- Mujhe sharamsaar na kar------ mujhe sharamsaar na kar-

Aur mera most favourite,
Neeli chirya
Faheem: Jab mai chota tha sameera---- to maine aik dafaa aik chirya pakar li thi. Mjhe uss chirya ka khaaakstari rang itna bura laga k maine ----- maine usse neeli siyahi se rang kr chor dia ---- janti ho phr kia hua?

Sameera: Kia.?

Faheem: Jab wo apni rishtedaar chiryon mai phnchi to thongen maar maar kar sabne usse lahoo luhaan kr dia ---- Yahan srf khaakstari badrang chiryan zinda reh sakti hen---
Mai Neeli chirya hun --- Mai apne anjaam se waqif hun.

I dote on this piece of writing, more than awesome..!

Wuthering heights...

2009-04-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

uptil now news are good... :)

kher,

Wuthering heights was the first english classic that came into my hands,
I was in o,levels 1,
did nt understand much at that time, and the book failed to takle place in the favourite most,s list.
but since it was maya,s favourite, I gave it another try,
and ahhh, what a master piece it is..!

Sharing something out of it,

"For shame," Heathcliff!" I said " It is for God to punish wicked people; we should learn to forgive."
"No , God wont have the satisfaction that I shall," he returned.

And another

she put up her hand to clasp his neck, and bring her cheek to his as he held her;
while he, in return, covering her with frantic caresses, said wildly -

"You teach me now how cruel you've been - cruel and false. WHY did you despise me? WHY did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight you - they'll damn you. You loved me - then what RIGHT had you to leave me? What right - answer me - for the poor fancy you felt for Linton? Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, YOU, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart - YOU have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine. So much the worse for me that I am strong. Do I want to live? What kind of living will it be when you - oh, God! would YOU like to live with your soul in the grave?"

"Let me alone. Let me alone,'' sobbed Catherine. ''If I've done wrong, I'm dying for it. It is enough! You left me too: but I won't upbraid you! I forgive you. Forgive me!''

''It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted hands,' he answered. 'Kiss me again; and don't let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love MY murderer - but YOURS! How can I?''

pray please, I am kinda tense.........!

2009-04-06T12:31:00.000-07:00

Blog aaj low bhi hun aur tense bhi
medical he 8th ko

test clear ho gaya mera

Blog dua krna,
I cant bear more of failures,
they have already taken so much out of me

I am clinging to this one
God, dont deprive me of it...!

listening to
"Mai bhi khareedar hun"
haye, kia shair he
jala hua dil he mera, bhuja hua he
dhuan dhuan ban k rehna meri saza he

Load shedding..!

2009-03-29T03:40:00.000-07:00

blog mjhe yaad he
bht phele,
pichli garmion mai mene tumhe aik long absence k baad kaha tha k,

jab mood hota he, light nhi hoti
aur jab light hoti he mood nhi hota...!

aur ab to aik ghanta light ati he, aik ghanta jati he
aik baar nhi bhoolte baara dfoon mai se k light band na karen........,
bare sarial hen..!
:grin

an epilogue to a dialogue

2009-03-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

Reffering to a previous post,
A dialogue

now I think
Ill die on the bed of roses, bleeding.....!

Out of heart....?

2009-03-24T11:42:00.000-07:00

aik proverb hota he out of mind out of sight,
mai teen saal tak sochti rahi,
kia insaan out of sight aur out of mind hone k saath saath, out of heart bhi ho jata he.......!

paanch saal beet gaye,
aur jawab hamesha na mai mila,

qudrat ka kaarkhana, ajeeb he, ya zalim....!

tere ushaaq bht khaak basar phirte hen...............

2009-03-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

Blog, ajeeb baat he
kbhi kbhi yun mehsoos hota he k jo kbhi mehsoos nhi kia usse bhi mehsoos kia he,

ye daawe kis qadar jhoote hen

jis tan laage so tan jaane, mai kia janoon,
mai kia, aur kia mere khayaal..!

Blog, I can feel..!

2009-03-18T15:26:00.000-07:00

Blog
I feel,
I feel like a child, who designated on selling eggs, have ended up breaking them,
like a blind who has lost his stick,
like a poor stricken wrench, whose last ten rupe note has lost,
like a poultry holder, whose chickens have diagnosed bird flue,
like a diary, accidentally damped, which is only blots now,
like an imp watching his targets getting pious,
like a cinderalla whose prince is incapable of striking one, after eleven.
I feel like a pinnochio who planting his only possesion with hopes of multiplication, lost even that.

And last but not the least
I feel like a penniless child in ragged clothes,
walking in the streets, lonely in his acquire,
searching behind window panes, columns and bars,
If there is anything HE can buy..!

off for ten days

2009-03-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

Blog I,ll be off for ten days or fifteen perhaps,
even if I,ll come, It would be difficult to post..!

Do pray, That I,ll convince maself that working hard is after all a good thing.....!

Dua karo k Allah wo kare jo mere haq mai bhtar bhi ho, aur meri khwahish bhi ho,

I need this prayer badly, I am in need...!

...............

2009-03-11T15:15:00.001-07:00

Blog jab takiye par sar rakhti hun, to bht si sochen warid hoti hen, magar unnn mai tumhari qismat ka kuch nhi hota,

aaajkal chup rehne ka ji krta he,
dil krta he tumhe dekhun magar bolun kuch nhi,

Aaaah, aur iss waqt bht dard ho rha he kamar aur hathon mai,
mjhe so jana chahiye....!

Two and a half hour talk... ooops

2009-03-06T11:24:00.000-08:00

Blog, itna enjoy kia aaaj,

Today I was in mood,
It was just when I was near sleeping, that the bell rang, [phone bell]
It was Fati, mood turned on, and it went to its peak, as the talk gradually took it,s course,

talked so much and what gibberish.......!
I was so much in mood that I even was nt realizing what I am speaking and about what,
whoaaaa,

It was so fun
at one point, Fatima said about a drama from the book Heratkada by Ashfaq Ahmad sahab,
that she just has a feeling about this drama as if she knows it somehow,

And I very [ the stress is on very], philosphically replied,
" Fatima ye dramay hen.............!
ya to humne dekhe hen, Ya nhi dekhe,'' :surprised
and it was three minutes later that I realized what stupidity I had uttered.

Damn it, I am gramatically stupid.
Dunno where my mind resides half the time,
Maybe the astral world that I am so much allured by.

Thats just a maybe, You know....!

Near the end of the call, fati said
'kaash hum larke hote, mai bhi tujhe khti k aja meri taraf zara,
I said na yaar, larka bhi hoti tab bhi, busen khtm hen iss time,

khti he,
''Tumne ghurbat se bahir nikal kar nhi sochna na''

hahahaha, waqai that was so stupid, jab hum larke ban hi gaye thay, aur baqi day dreaming bhi kr hi li thi, to aik scooter konsi bari cheez thi.....!

She called, and the call prolonged for about 35-40 mins
and then I did for 40-50 mins
and then she for 40 mins again,

a single call in three turns.....,

Ghurbat k masail....! :grin

Neeli chirya

2009-03-04T13:13:00.000-08:00

Neeli chirya ko bht jald pata chal jata he k wo neeli he,
isliye nhi k wo aina dekhti he
logon ki nazren aur bhoori chiryon ki thongen usse ye waqt se bht pehle bata deti hen.

aur phr log sochte hen k itni kam umar mai itni agahi achi nhi hoti.......!

:grin

.......... untitled........,

2009-03-03T15:55:00.000-08:00

aaaj yasir bhai ne baat ki k
Baat dilli tak jani chahiye,

Baat waqai dilli tak hi jani chahiye....!

kher,
I am a wonderful person,
Sometimes I walk faster then a bus and honda civics even,
I am surprised why is it only when the red signal is up....!
:grin

phikki pe gai....,

2009-03-03T15:15:00.000-08:00

kal raat jab aik baje net use krk gai to upar jak ammi kliye chaye bnai,
chat pe time guzara,
aur chat par apne favourite spot par beth kar A dairy of a young girl prhi..!
bht enjoy kia...!

Many ideas crossed my mind, strange like always..!
would share in onward posts....!

jaaldi sone ka irada tha,
magar do baje se bistar par pare pare, yun k neend ati hi na thi,
bht garmi lag rhi thi,

akhir dil bht tang agaya,
dusre kamre mai chali aai
aur Ali bhai k show se kuch recordings sunneen,
aur kia baat he
'' phikki pe gai chand tarian di loo
tu aj wi na aayo sajnaa,''

Haye, it touched my heart so much,
I heard it for an hour, rewinding and playing again and again....!
aur phr prog mai Ali bhai ka ye khna k,
''kisi mughal shehenshah ki trh, wo dehli jahan aapne hakoomat ki ho ,
wahan apko qaed hokr jana acha nhi lgta...!''

kia Aala baat he...!

and after having all that, I went to sleep and didnt wake up till 2 in the afternoon,
and even that with reluctance...!

2009-03-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

Blog,
this posts and maybe the ones following it are I dont know a sequence to what,

Blog maybe people think that I have started taking a negative approach towards life or whatever and whatever,
but this is not so
I hate feelings getting accumulated in my throat like an unswallowed bite.

I want to feel them, they cannot be strong enough to melt me away or make me suicide.

Toofan ata he, aakr guzar jata he, kam az kam insaan bacha rehta he, and i love the person in me,
And I dont want its spirit to die, thats why i want to feel. I dont wanna be a dumb and numb, insensitive idiot.
I,ll bear pain but that thing........., No.

I am bad , I am lazy, and I am not proud of it,
and it is not so that I can not be otherwise,
its just that i have not tried in literal sense,
and yeah blog,
I am no different,
i am a stupid, day dreaming, unenthusiastic human being.

But I have a belief in myself,
today, maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after that,
I,ll break this shell, this monotony, this stagnancy,
and would soar high and lead ma way and add something positive.

Things will come, difficulties, hurdles, people, whatever whatever...,
but i would not stop and shine high in the sky, with my head held high that yeah I have proved my worth,
I am worthy enough to be called the crown of creatures,
and this my dear friend, aint a dream,
Its a BELIEF.

And I believe in my beliefs.....!

dunno what to call it

2009-03-01T10:52:00.001-08:00

I bought ''Deewan e Ghalib'' and ''A diary of a young girl'', today.
Dil ko kuch chen mila,

Qasam se, was feeling so very out of control last two days,
my nerves, they were going absolutely wild and I was acting so terribly bad,
that I just did nt want to tell you,
I was ashamed of my behaviour, my weakness, Myself........!
I hurt people bad...!

But it is a fact and has been a fact that I have been unable to cope with frustration.....!
The feelings, and their intensities get double and negative, both,
and i start acting like abnormals....!

Ohhh how insensitive a thing I become........!
I hate it, and I am sorry.........!

SORRY in capital letters....!

Mom I owe you so much,
I know its hard to raise a child like mine,
mom thanks for bearing all that much,
and being so very patient,
and so very caring and sensitive for treating sensibly the type I am.....!

CHINA,.......... getting over my nerves.

2009-02-28T11:23:00.000-08:00

Blog You know what,
uhhh uhh uhhh,

Well before telling that I have to mention that fati,s father is better now, after a successful minor operation.

But Ah, the plus news,
its making me crazy,

Fati has been nominated from her college for a delegation to china, which is going through student exchange commission,
May she get selected,
but believe me, what crap is it.

She is going to china, and that without me,
like to hell with leochoo, he does nt cares for me, calling her alone, with a bunch of possible idiots, who wont be knowing him even..!

Now just have it na just some days backed we talked so much of china, and dreams coming true but what way.....?

Kia kaali zabanen pai hen, By God...........!

...........................Back to anone..!

2009-02-25T12:56:00.000-08:00

.
.
.
I strove with none, for none was worth my strife;
Nature I loved,and, next to Nature,Art:
I warmed both hands before the fire of light;
It sinks; and I am ready to depart.

Bano appa

2009-02-23T09:36:00.000-08:00

aaaj bht gloomy feel kr rhi hun,
bas kbhi koi zara si baat upset kr deti he,

aaj bano appa ko khwab mai dekha tha,
bht yaad a rhi theen,
call ki unhen,

aur ajeb baat ye he k meri baat kra di gai bgher kisi taradud k,
do teen logon se hota hua bil-akhir phone unn tak phnch hi gaya,

bht khushi hui,

baat bht mukhtasir hui,
magar khushi rhi k ho gai,
end pe wo kuch keh rhi theen, but phone band ho gaya.!
aur choonk wo tabiat ki khrabi k baice baat nhi kr sakti theen, isliye dubara mene bhi nhi milaya.!

pata nhi , maine bano appa ko ziada prha nhi he, magar unse bht ziada uns he, ese hi jese kisi ghar k bare se ho....!
uns unk fan se ziada unki zaat se he, hena ajeeb baat..!

Thinking back....,

2009-02-22T11:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, its just that i think,
that I hold no place in the lives of some people I love so much,

like I am here,
I am living,
I am growing,
I am blossoming,
I am loosing,
I am gaining.

But then there are them who are not at any of it,

They tell me of the going ons in their lives,
but dont miss my presence at them...,

Like I hate it, Memories bite.!
the difference between the past and the present hurts....

Life has certainly changed,
the relationships have weakened,

I wrote some years back, three of them maybe,

khne sunne may aya he,

ghata deta he qadar, ana roz roz ka,

par kia karen jo ho judai lambi itni,
k phr milne ki tammana bhi na rahe...!

Aur ab to haal ye he k,
judai ka ehsaas bhi ehsaas krne par hi hota he...!

It has become a reality, a solid mist, shy of its presence,

but always there when you look for it,

wahi k sahir khte hen,

magar ye ho na saka aur ab ye alam he,
tu nhi, tera gham, teri justujoo bhi nhi...
guzar rhi he kuch iss trh zindagi jese,
isse kisi k sahare ki arzoo bhi nhi,

Haye,

triumph.......

2009-02-22T11:02:00.000-08:00

I got a baby cousin just an hour before....,
yet to be named.

A Dialogue,

2009-02-21T12:38:00.000-08:00

Life can be harsh,
life can be difficult,
it can be ugly even.
But unfair,
no, Its never unfair.
It has its divisions, it has its blessings and its wicked spells.

But you get them all, less or more,
sooner or later,
but All.!

Sometimes you may feel so, LIFE... UNFAIR..two words...!

but believe me, otherwise you are a princess,
but if you feel so, then let yourself
if you are jeolous, then be,
if you feel pity for yourself then do,
if you hate the world, you want to break the window panes,
My dear, you are most welcome....!

But there , my princess,
you are a princess,
for thorns,
they always come with the roses,
roses,
beautiful,
held,
known,
blooming,
dead,
burnt,
wilted,
sad,
unseen,
whatever way, but roses, my dear, roses anyway..!

And Life too, is a bed of roses,
its just that I dont talk of the thorns, I broke my skin with.....!

Ahhh, my dears...!

2009-02-20T11:18:00.001-08:00

mayya ne aik shair likh kr bheja,
well, ussi ki kefiat mai hun...

Maktab e ishq ka dastur nirala dekha
usko chutti na mili jisne sabaq yaad kia

Haye,
aaj bare mamoo waghera bhi aye thay,
well, mera khayaal he jab insaan expectations rakhna band kar chuka ho,
to narazgi bemaani he...!
bas jo he, jesa he,
he to na, yahi bht he...!

Han, ye albata alag baat he k kbhi kbhi insaan bht sensitive moments guzaar rha hota, aur cheezen jesi chal rhi hoti hen, unhen bardasht krna mushkil ho jata he....
but jab moqaa milay rishton ko aur kamon ko, sudhaar lena chahiye....!

bhabhi aur bache bhi aye,

I love my bhateeja, bhatiji,

hectic.........

2009-02-20T10:28:00.000-08:00

WELL,
U KNOW IT...!

blog, ami gir gai theen, kafi choten aein,
hospitals phirna, ghar sametna
mehmaaan....!

Ahhh hectic and tense....!

aaj aik saanp wala aya tha, he gave me a seed kind of thing called 'so-mukhi"
known for its electro-magnetic effects..!
I touched the sannp, took it in hands, well it didnt felt much different, or much dangerous, as to be called precisely.....!

farsi classes are going well,
mayya has left them, but fati joining them in...!

2009-02-17T11:45:00.000-08:00

Blog..!
mayya is making me crazy,
she is irratating me like hell,
........................[Why my friends have to be so, they always insist on doing what I hate.....!]

I am literally thinking of closing you blog,
Uhhh...!
sheis driving me nutssssssssssssss..!

ahhhhhhhh,

2009-02-17T10:57:00.000-08:00

uhhh aaaj gai bhi, but classes nhi hueen aaj start,
dahhh...!
mayya aur fatima donon hi nhi aeeen..!
Fati k abu ki tabiat theek nhi, dua krna blog..!

kher, kafi der waheen library mai bethi rhi, phr sadar ghoomne nikal gai,
wahan se register aur pakstudies kliye aik book li,
phr aik flower wale se kuch phool liye,
lena gul-e-nargis chah rhi thi,
ghar phnchi to ami ne kha,
''ye to tuberoses hen''

Mai bhi soch rhi thi, iski khushboo utni tez kion nhi.... :wonder :p

all about the long awaited sunday, HADI,s engagemen.....!

2009-02-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

well, I didnt tell you about the last sunday, the awaited one...!

warda ko beizat kr kr k jaldi bulwaya, aur jab wo phnchi to mai madaam abhi srf naha rhi thi.....!

Had a fight over that, and then we packed the gift and left....!

Whooa, this eye-brows plucking buisness hurts,
Literally, I shouted and shrieked so much,
I was literally pleading,

''bas na ho gaya na'', ''ye issi trh acha lag rha he''
''bas aur nahi patla kren eye-brows ko.....! mai bas yunhi theek hun''

UHHHH....!

hair cutting bhi karai,
baal bht chote kr diye unn ne...,

[and I was just repeating an incident in my mind, a comment that i got from a young girl several years back, when i myself was about some twelve years old...!

''Inni waddi larki te baal inne nikke nikke''

well I still laugh at the wonder expressed.......!
haye mere mulk k pyare aur masoom log...! ]

Hadia itni pyari lag rhi thi,
she was looking phenominal, she amazed me, like hadia ye tu to pyari lag rhi he,
And I liked his fiancee,
and the best thing abt him is that, he reads Imran series...!
hahaha, [ jhalepan ka koi mol nhi ],

and when I came back home, I was continously saying that,
''mama mera daddooo to pyara lag rha tha...!''

wese wo pyari he bhi, ye alag baat he k mai na manun....! [:p]

I still could nt believe Hadi ki mangni ho rahi he, wese tension kuch kam hui, mjhe achay lag wo log....!